Are you (or your children) posting information which can help a stalker or predator find you or your family?
I apologize in advance if this seems like one of those scary nightly news teasers.
It amazes me how many details people reveal on the internet. Between blogging, Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and thousands of other sites, people are revealing more information about themselves (and their families) than ever. And while this may all be well and good for social networking and sharing with friends, this same information can be used against you, as virtual bread crumbs to a potential threat.
Recently, a single mom blogger friend made her blog private to protect her posts from unwanted attention of internet weirdos. We talked a bit on the subject. She feels stuck between wanting her blog open for all readers and wanting to protect her family. Since I’ve written on the subject of internet safety and know how to find people online (tools of my former trade), I gave her some tips on how she can start a new blog and make herself and her family a bit harder to find.
She posted my tips on her site and some of her readers found the information useful. One reader felt that she might be a bit careless at times. I checked out her blog. Sure enough, I found something almost immediately.
She posted a picture of her daughter holding an envelope which was addressed to someone. Guess what was at the top left corner of the envelope? You got it, the girl’s name and address. Right there on the web for anyone to see.
Granted, I am a bit more cautious (or paranoid) than most people. Maybe it’s the neighborhoods I’ve lived in. Maybe it’s the time a guy came at me by knifepoint as a child and tried to drag me into the bushes. Maybe it’s all the bad things I’ve seen happen to others. Whatever the reason, I am always looking out for what could happen next and trying to prepare against it.
And one look at the nightly news will tell you that bad things happen to everyday people all too often.
While we can’t protect ourselves from every potential threat, a bit of common sense and caution can help lessen the chance of something bad happening to you or your family.
If you don’t think there are predators out there searching for victims, you haven’t been paying attention.
Consider the case of Edward Duncan III, who kidnapped a young boy and girl in Idaho. He murdered their family before taking the siblings. He abused both children and murdered the boy right in front of the girl. Fortunately, she survived and Duncan was arrested.
“He told her he was out driving around looking for children to kidnap,” Kootenai County sheriff’s Detective Brad Maskell testified during a probable cause hearing. “He glanced over at the Wolf Lodge property and saw her playing in the yard with her brother and wearing a bathing suit. At that point he chose them as possible kidnap victims.”
*Read her heartbreaking account of the events here.
Just like that, these two children were targeted.
As a parent, that story sends chills down my spine.
Here are some of the tips I passed on to my blogger mommy friend. Obviously, some people may not feel a need for such caution, and that’s fine. I certainly don’t want to add to the constant din of fear mongering on network news. However, if you do find it useful and know someone else who might also, feel free to pass it on.
- Don’t post any personally identifiable information in text, images or videos (including info about schools, jobs, pictures or video which show your home, your license plate or identifiable landmarks near your home or work, places you regularly go – like Joe’s Dance Academy every Friday at 4 pm).
- Start a new blog. Consider changing your name or at least your children’s names in the blog. You might need to start a new blog in order to do this. Tell those that you know to not use your name or reveal private details in comments or on their blogs. Set up fake info to throw people off – maybe say you are from a state or county one north or south of where you actually are – so you can still talk regionally, but not be direct.
- Another good reason to use false information - you can find out nearly anything about anyone on the Web. From property tax information which reveals your address, the amount of taxes you paid on your property, and in some cases even a blueprint of your house, to companies which offer to sell your private information to anyone with a credit card, it is amazingly easy to find out nearly any legal detail about anyone. Then there’s the things you never think about – an old newspaper article, a mention on somebody’s website or a public record of some sort. Google is an amazing resource to help locate people. It’s a lot harder to do if others don’t know your real name.
- Hide your WHOIS info. If you registered for a domain name, there’s a good chance someone can access to your registration information (including your address and phone number) by doing a WHOIS search. Many domain companies are now offering to hide this information for a nominal fee. Some even offer this as a free service. Some sites offer WHOIS history which will reveal your prior information even after you’ve gone private. If you REALLY want to protect your identity, you may want to start fresh with a new domain name.
- Don’t discuss routines or schedules in advance. Telling people you are going to visit your sister out of town means your house will likely be vacant while you are gone. If you have a local stalker who wants to break in, that’s letting them know a good time. Twitter, and sites like it, can sometimes provide a bit too much information to the wrong people.
- Utilize privacy settings on social sites. MySpace, Facebook, photo hosting sites and even some blogging platforms offer privacy settings which hide your information from people you don’t want to see it. Most sites do not automate such settings, so you will need to do some exploring and learn how to protect your information.
Now that I’ve scared everyone into changing their names, shaving their heads and moving to another country…
This is by no means a complete list. If you have something to add, either tips or maybe even a story about your own experience with internet stalkers, feel free to comment or contact me.
Want BloggerDad delivered to your email every time I post? Well, you’re not alone. Join the literally tens of others who have already subscribed for free! Email not your thing? That’s okay, you can also subscribe via RSS – It’s also free.
Content is copyright 2009 BloggerDad.com. If you are reading this on any site other than www.Bloggerdad.com or your personal RSS reader, then you may be reading it on a site which steals content. And would you trust a site like that?
Here’s a question: Is there a way to hide where one is visiting from? Like on Statcounter?
Kool Aids last blog post..The Homeschool Debate
Great post, thank you for the tips! One more thing I would like to add, since I’ve run into it a couple of times on different sites:
If you’re using a pseudonym on your blog, your personal friends might thoughtlessly mention your real name in a comment. If your blog platform supports a “profanity filter” list, where specific words cause a comment to be held for moderation, type different variations of your name (including your initials) into the filter list so that accidental slip-ups won’t “out” your true identity.
great post, and yes, scary. In fact I hate reading stuff like this because it reminds you that as a parent, even when you do everything right, there are still circumstances beyond control. This is particularly hard for me since some of my kids live hundreds of miles away so I have no idea what their routines are.
All of these tips are valid. I do share some factual info on my site. However, I use fake names that sound real but are not.
Locations are vague (I’m even more elusive with my sons).
I watch my stat counter to ID strange trends (I once had someone using the search function with only the names of the kids. I discovered who it was, but almost shut the Lunchbox down for good).
Another help was using a free service that tells you were all the registered sex offenders live with in a certain radius of your address (Ironically, there are more located near my boys’ rural location than there are my home in a metropolitan area. It’s also surprising the number that reside in upscale neighborhoods).
Common sense is the key.
Thanks, Dave. Good stuff.
CK Lunchboxs last blog post..Vacation Slides & Prozac
Interesting stuff and all things that we’ve considered. We live in a rural area and, when we are gone, have people watching our place for us. Still it can be worrisome.
Mike Goads last blog post..Blogging Freebies
Great advice, Dave. I try hard to walk that line between being open and honest, private and safe. The most specific I write about are my feelings.
Writer Dads last blog post..Bunny!
Good advice, all.
I thought long and hard about how open I would be online. I don’t use real names unless expressly told I may, and I don’t post photos of other people without their permission. I don’t use children’s real names even if I DO post photos and have permission.
While I may occasionally discuss where I’ll be on a given day, I only do so when I know someone else will be home and I’ll be with people I know – in a pack with a lookout back at the den, if you will.
Ultimately, one can allow cyber-freaks to cage one up, force one to alter how they write, think, and behave, or one may proceed to live with sensible caution, a modicum of hope and trust, and the knowledge that yes, things can happen, but sometimes they happen however well one is prepared.
Shade and Sweetwater,
K
Kyddryns last blog post..Joining the Etsy Era While Doing the Bump(er)
Kool Aid – Yes, there are ways to change or mask your IP address. If someone uses these methods including proxies or proxy sites, you will get a false IP and location. If there is a way to prevent proxies IP’s from visiting you, I’m not sure. There are ways to block IP addresses from visiting your site if you want to get techinical and have your own website and access to your files. This could work for your average person who is on DSL and a static IP and not as internet savvy. However, most dialup internet users are not on static IP addresses.
Aylad – That profanity filter is a GREAT idea to screen out unintentional info!
CK Lunchbox – Good idea on monitoring the site stats! That musta’ been scary when you first saw the search(es).
Mike – Good idea. I probably should add something about getting to know your neighbors and asking them to keep an eye out.
Writer Dad – Thanks. All you have to worry about is family members using your info against you.
Kyddryn – Good methods you are using. And yes, I get the last sentiment. I was reluctant to write this post as I didn’t want to come off as alarmist. This is mostly to provide some tips to those who want to be a bit more cautious.
BD – Ok, I’m a little dense. I have no idea what you just told me.
Aylad – that’s exactly why I moderate all my comments. I’ve had to reject some from friends and family because they’d slip up and use our real names.
Kool Aids last blog post..The Homeschool Debate
Because I run an online business, I guess I’ve been more open than is probably wise. I did what I could to protect us. My business mailing address is a PO Box. The business number is a cell. I use my initials, though I’ve let slip twice now what my first name is. My children mostly grown, but I don’t give away their locations and their last name is different than mine.
I don’t know what else to do and still run a company that relies on trust, with a name that is recognizable in a professional context.
Glad to see you on Twitter earlier. Looking forward to a reprise.
BJ Keltzs last blog post..Writing Metaphor – Making Paper
I’m more ballsy than most people I know, especially when it comes to the internet. At the same time, I keep quite a bit of information to myself. I never, ever talk about my job, my current love life (if there was one).
Essentially, I don’t worry about these kinds of things. I can appreciate the seriousness of the matter – but I feel comfortable with my privacy on the internet.
Matthew Drydens last blog post..Choose My Punishment!
I dont want to keep it all private because I need to be out there just like a shop front. Visibility is very important for me. Plus your customers are entitled to direct contact with a representative of your business. Usually if they have my address, I have thiers first. I was shocked though 2 days ago when I was trolling blog sites and a picture of a nude 2 – 3 year old popped up. I went a little cold. You see that may be beautiful to us parents and the girls mum who put it there but it is also the thing bad bad internet people starting with P look for. Lets not be niave here. It kinda freaked me out and I wanted to tell the mum “hey cover your girl up, you dont know who is looking and downloading her pic”
I dont know. Maybe in that regard I am being way too over protective.
I am a bit paranoid about those things as well…
I try to give -general information whenever I am posting something about TB… my whois data is from an old address…
but there REALLY are other ways to find out where you live with as many general information details…
that is why I also advertise as much as possible that I am a black belt karate guy, I am huge, kick butt and I have a gun…
and then I hope that’s enough…
zya!
UrbanVoxs last blog post..Life goes on… and on… and on…
I tried all that secrecy stuff and nothing ever felt right. None of it, even the true parts—because the fake parts were false. So, I went back to real names. I keep addresses and school names ‘secret’. I try to be general in my whereabouts—T-Town versus the actual town name. Once I get to know somebody and am comfortable with them, I share more.
I once came across an ultrasound picture that had the woman’s social security number on it. I e-mailed her to let her know it was dangerous. I never hear from her, so I have no idea if she took the picture down or not…and since I came across it while ‘surfing’ I don’t remember where I was….so I can’t even follow up.
You have to be very aware of the things you post or you could give out way too much information. I wonder how easily traceable I am?
Hi Blogger Dad,
Thank you for the link to this post. I hear what you’re saying. Too often people post way too much information online. I see a lot of it in blogs, but find it even more worrisome on sites such as FaceBook and MySpace. Then we wonder why the predators love the internet so much – we’re feeding them daily.
Barbara Swaffords last blog post..For The Sake Of The Children – Blog Smart
You know what you say is correct. Recently though I had the following incident:
someone contacted me in my private email account with regard to a business deal. I was amazed where he got that email, cause I only share it with people I know personally. The email was quite obviously an advance fee scam, but I played along so that to reveal as much information as possible to online antiscam – antifraud forums.
Once I did, and without sharing with him any of my info, he found out and demanded me to take the info down. Once I refused, he came back sending me my name, address and telephone number, (information he was asking for in the first place, but I did not provide) threating subtly that he knows a lot more about me than he admits.
I still refused to take the info down, and he hasn’t been in contact since.
Imagine my astonishment when I realized that he got my info from my resume on some job searching sites…