Even MORE Rejected Children’s Books

Since you asked for it, all two of you, here are even more children’s books I’ve submitted along with a brief description of each title.

For some reason, publishers keep rejecting them.

God Loves Everyone… But You
People have been using religion for thousands of years to manipulate others, so why shouldn’t you?

Tell your child that he must earn God’s love and can start by cleaning up his room, washing your car, and whatever else you can think of!

Does your child throw temper tantrums?

Well, nothing puts an end to tantrums like threats of eternal damnation!

Animals are our Friends    Animals are our Food

Children love animals!

They’re cute, cuddly and tasty. The animals, not the children. So, why not show your kids where their meals really come from?

This lovely My First Pop Up book shows kids the exciting journey that animals take from their crowded cages to the slaughterhouse to your dinner plate, all told in full, glorious Pop Up Gory Glory!

Everybody Dies and So Will You

It’s tough when a loved one dies. Especially when it’s someone close to your child. What better way to help you child through the grieving process than this lovely book which explains that eventually we all die and rot while worms eat our flesh and guts?

And for those who are new to the site, here are some of the previously rejected books (with new commentary for each book).

Bob: the Bear Who Didn’t Give a F*@k! – a story for kids -

We all remember that special magical book we had as a child, full of whimsy, love and fantastical journies with memorable characters. This book is kind of like that book. Only not.

Clifford Takes a Dump

Why this book was rejected is beyond me! It stars a beloved children’s character and teaches the importance of taking care of your pet and not letting your dog crap all over your neighbor’s lawn even though your neighbor never did anything to you and even lets you borrow eggs and milk and other groceries because you can’t ever freaking remember to get your own damned groceries, all so you can feed your bratty kids who also like to destroy lawns and make all kinds of noise way too early in the morning when normal people are freaking trying to sleep!

The Story of Poo From Your Belly to the Toilet All the way to Congress!

This story has the bonus of not only explaining bodily functions to children, but also explains how we end up with the government we have.

Bi-Curious George at the Drag Show

Oh, that crazy George! What will he do next? In this installment of the revered children’s classic, George enters a drag show and runs into the Man in the Yellow Hat. Hilarity ensues!

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Tagged as: rejected childrens books