Goodbye Cable

Since I lost my job in June, we’ve been looking at ways to get by on less money. Since having a child last year, we’ve already cut most of our non-essential spending. So, now we have to look at our monthly expenses and trim the fat. Of course my wife and I disagree on just what is fat. To her, cable TV qualifies as fat. To me, cable is right up there with ESSENTIAL items such as food, mortgage and oxygen. (See the below list)

Items essential to survival in order of importance:

1. oxygen
2. food
3. cable tv
4. Diet Cherry Pepsi

Hard times call for hard decisions, and no matter how hard I try, there is little way to justify the continued expense. So this weekend, I’m going to do the unthinkable and     (dramatic pause)    get rid of cable.

More importantly, I will be getting rid of the Most Important and Amazing Device Ever invented.

I’m talking about the DVR, or Digital Video Recorder, that the cable company provides for an extra $6 a month.

For those who aren’t familiar with the DVR, (like my parents, who have somehow watched TV their entire lives without one!), the DVR allows you to record one show while watching another. You can watch TV on your schedule and even allows you to rewind a show you’re watching. Did you miss something that the detective just said on Law and Order: Criminal Intent Special Victims Homicide and Pudding Theft Division? Rewind it. Want to see that unbelievable 90 yard touchdown reception again and again, and maybe once more, just to show your wife who could care less about the game but it was just such an amazing touchdown, even she will be amazed? Rewind it.

Perhaps the best part of the DVR is that it allows you to pause a show while you’re watching it when reality (and by reality, I usually mean children) interrupts your television viewing. No longer do you have to miss ANYTHING because of interruption.

“Honey, the kitchen is on fire!”

“Hold on, let me pause the game.”

No problem!

I don’t know HOW we were able to watch TV before the DVR. Well, actually I do. We didn’t have a child back then.

A DVR is an absolute necessity for any house with children, particularly a house with a curious 16 month old who finds it necessary to taste anything that will fit in his mouth. Add to that a penchant for chasing the cats, grabbing the cats, smacking the cats in awkward attempts to pet them, and putting his fingers in places the cats don’t want a finger, and you can find yourself pausing a show 2,452 times (a rough estimate) per hour.

A DVR allows me to do the things that a good parent should do, like pick the baby up and comfort him after he falls down, or clean and bandage cat-inflicted wounds. If I miss something on TV, I can simply hit rewind.

Not anymore, though.

Without a DVR, I will suddenly be forced to CHOOSE between my child and television! No man should have to make that decision! Not in the age of technology when you can have both!

I know, I sound like the worst parent ever. And, yes, I’m aware that not watching TV will free me up to do other things. However, there are few things I can do in a passive manner during the moments my son wants me in the room, but wants to spend time doing stuff on his own. He will spend five or ten minutes doing one thing, then come running over to me to do something with me, then five minutes later, abruptly leave me to go do something completely different. It’s not like I can read a book while watching him. TV was the perfect way to unwind in bite-sized five minute installments. Thanks to the DVR, I could enjoy a half hour show (though it took two hours). Now, I will have to either give up the shows I enjoy, or give up my son.

Obviously I won’t give up my son – though I might wish I did once he’s a teenager. And I will always choose spending time with him over television. Well, except for playoff games, at which point, he will either have to spend time with mommy or limit his need for parental assistance to short two minute commercial breaks.

(this is an updated and slightly re-worded version of a post which appeared on my art blog last month before I used my birthday money to extend cable a little bit longer. The NEW cable cutoff date will be this weekend.)

(photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/daveynin)

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