If you’re like me, you likely have (or had) a list of things which you vowed you’d never do as a parent.
Before our son was born last year, I began compiling My List. Much of it was inspired by crazy things I’ve seen parents do with their kids. Whether it be the red faced mom smacking the crap out of her crying child in the grocery store or the mother giving her four month old infant a caffeine-laden 20 ounce Pepsi to drink, I’ve spent years watching people and saying silently to myself, I will never do that.
Of course you never know just what you will and won’t do until you’re actually in a situation. And there’s no way you can imagine what it’s like to be a parent and know the stress of parenting until you’re wrist deep in an explosive diaper change while the baby is screaming, dinner is boiling over, the phone is ringing and the cats are involved in a full-out-fur-flying-bloody-brawl.
So, here is a partial list of my parental intentions versus the reality of raising my 16 month old. Obviously, my list isn’t a reflection on your parenting skills. I’m sure you’re a great parent, which is evident by your taste in blogs.
- Intention: I will not buy my child shoes. I know, I sound like some horrible character out of a Dickens novel. However, I don’t see why people buy expensive shoes for children who …and this is an important factor… can’t even walk yet! Talk about throwing money away. Besides, shoes inhibit the natural growth of a baby’s foot (based on a report which I made up, but has to be true). And given the rapid rate at which babies grow, you can easily find yourself buying new shoes every two hours! Why not wait until the child can walk and actually needs shoes? Reality: I stuck to my guns on this one. My wife, however, overruled me, and bought him shoes which were, in her words not mine, so cute.
- Intention: I won’t curse in front of my son. (This was at the request of my wife, more than my own vow). Given my love for all words and my creative flair with the foulest of expressions, this was a big one. Reality: Um, let’s just say if we had a swear jar, my son’s college tuition would already be paid for.
- Intention: I won’t let my child eat badly. I can’t tell you how disgusted I get when I see morbidly obese parents shoveling horrible foods into their obese children’s mouths. McDonald’s is NOT a happy healthy playground and I refuse to allow my child to fall into the same trappings that have kept me fat for much of my adult life. I want him to appreciate good food and be healthy. Reality: Good, so far. Aside from birthday cake, the sweetest thing he’s eaten so far is fruit. And unlike me, he eats all his veggies!
- Intention: I won’t let my child watch TV before he is two. There’s been too many stories in the news linking early child TV watching to obesity and learning problems. I figured the best thing to do is for us to keep the TV off in the living room when the baby is around. Reality: The “No TV” rule lasted until the first time I had to spend more than 20 minutes holding our sleeping newborn. I had to keep myself entertained somehow! Fortunately, my son has little interest in TV, other than a few minutes here and there, when there is something with music or basketballs or balloons on the screen.
- Intention: I won’t waste money on lots of toys. When you consider that many children have more fun with an empty shoe box than a shiny new toy, why do so many people spend tons accumulating a mountain of stuff? I want my son to grow up with an appreciation for what he has and to know the value of things. Reality: I’m pretty good about this. However, he loves all things round, whether balls or balloons, and we cannot pass up either without a purchase. Somehow, despite our frugality in this area, he has still accumulated a mountain of toys (which daddy manages to trip over every night) from family and friends.
So, that’s my list. How about you? What are some of the things you said you’d never do and how well did you stick to the plan?
photo courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/danhodgett/
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Because I said so. Never thought I’d say it, but I say it all the time. It’s the natural aftermath of a hundred-thousand whys.
Hi, I’m a longtime reader of Todd and Penguin. I like the new blog. The one thing I said I’d never do as a parent is hit my son. He’s five now and has yet to receive more than a light smack on the hand. Hopefully my patience will last through his teenage years.
I didn’t start out with a list of intentions but made them up as I went along. I’ve got two girls – 7 and 5 yo. I also have the same one as John – not to spank my kids. I’ve found that the time out chair works wonders; not that I need it all that much anymore!
Writer Dad – Yeah, I haven’t gotten to that one yet, as my son is still too young to ask questions.
John – The not spanking my child rule was easier to imagine when I thought I might have a daughter. I dread the day I might have to spank my son.
Evelyn – While my son is still too young to understand “time out” I’m sure we’ll use it. However, I’m pretty sure once a child hits the teen years, that timeout chair will lose its power.