In Which I Tie Thomas The Train to Poopie Time
(or Thomas Really IS a Useful Engine)
My son’s new love is Thomas the Train. Apparently this is a phase which all children are required by law to go through, in accordance with Parental Annoyance legislation passed in the early 1980′s.
I didn’t see the harm the friendly little blue train posed when my two year old, E, started mentioning him in conversation a few months ago. My wife, though, was less than thrilled. It seems that her exposure to children over the years has resulted in a strong dislike for Thomas. Thanks to my wife, our house had remained a Thomas-free zone – until recently…when someone bought my son a Thomas the Train book.
It begins with a book
E was super excited and was already familiar with Thomas from daycare, or perhaps from the government brainwashing program which introduces Thomas to children. So, I was excited for him and was happy enough to indulge in his interests, even if the books are long and rather uninspired looking.
Then comes the DVD
I was at my “favorite” store, Target and saw a Thomas DVD for $5. What a bargain, right? I recalled from some distant memory that George Carlin narrated some of the episodes of Thomas and Friends, and I LOVE Carlin, so how bad can the DVD be? Right?
Apparently, Carlin doesn’t curse even once on these DVDs!
And, to make matters worse, the DVD I bought wasn’t even narrated by Carlin. From the lack of animated facial expressions to the cheesy dialogue, this might be the worst DVD I’ve ever watched. And this is coming from someone who has sat through Elmo in Grouchland more times than he can recall (through extensive therapy). Apparently, every episode revolves around Thomas or another train crashing or getting into some other trouble. For a “useful engine” he sure does screw up a lot. In the real world, he’d be sold for scrap. I could suddenly see why my wife didn’t care for Thomas. And now I was going to pay for not listening to her. E insists on watching Thomas morning, noon and night.
The Invasion Begins…
And then one day, I woke to find that a Thomas the Train toy had made its way into our home. One lone train, a blue wooden Thomas engine that Nana bought E. He carried it around the house proudly wherever he went, including bed, where it sat next to the crib, keeping a watchful eye.
And then the floodgates open!
That was all it took. Two weeks later and my house is full of Thomas AND all his friends, Rusty, James, Percy, Henry, and Whiff (who names a train Whiff?) and some coal cars (which E seems to enjoy). And of course, tracks and tracks and a train house. Between Nana and myself, E has racked up a lot of Thomas loot in a short amount of time. All to my wife’s displeasure, though she seems to have accepted this new phase, or at least isn’t fighting it.
While Thomas doesn’t seem too useful in the books and DVDs, he did prove to be useful in one area, though – potty time.
Actually, it wasn’t Thomas, but rather E’s new favorite train (for this week, anyway), James.
While potty training has been very successful, there are times when E doesn’t want to go to the bathroom. This is usually when he has to go Number Two. So, as a parent, you need to get creative in attempts to get your child to the toilet. Last week, there was a day where E hadn’t gone Number Two in almost 24 hours. When I told him it was potty time, he shook his head no. However, when I suggested that he show his new train, James, how he goes poo, another story altogether. E raced into the bathroom, holding James, saying, “I’m gonna go potty, James.”
He carefully placed James on the sink next to the toilet and then sat on the potty and turned to James, so the train could watch him. He grabbed the sides of his toilet seat and tightened his stomach. Moments later, splash, splash. And then E exclaimed proudly,
“Look James, I made a turd!”
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12 Responses to “In Which I Tie Thomas The Train to Poopie Time”
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Are you kidding me? Thomas is a walk in the park compared with Barney.
My house was once filled with Barney, his grotesque purple fizzog everywhere, his fingers down the blackboard voice, THOSE songs.
Gaaaaagh!
Thankfully my house is cleansed of such nonsense and my daughter’s current fav is Scooby Doo – hooray to that!
Tara@Sticky Fingers´s last blog ..5 things they don’t tell you about having a boy
When it comes to potty training, anything goes.
And for the record – Thomas is sooo much better than Dora the explorer. I hate that football-headed little girl more than anything. Count your blessings, man.
Count
your
blessings.
MommaSunshine´s last blog ..A little bit “metro”
I am…speechless.
P.S. Does he know that there is a train in Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood?? I’m just saying.
Hayden Tompkins´s last blog ..The Magic of Having Your Own Transformers
Tara – Wow, EVERYBODY seems to hate Barney. I’ve only seen it a few times, but the times I did see it, E loved dancing along to it. It’s an active show rather than a passive one, like Thomas, so in my mind, Barney would be the better kid’s TV show if it gets kids off the couch. I loved Scooby Doo when I was a kid. Do they even air new episodes or is she watching the classics?
MommaSunshine – Fortunately, I haven’t had to deal with Dora yet. Is that strictly a show that girls are into or boys, also? The only football shaped headed kid I like is Stewie from Family Guy.
Hayden – Mr. Rogers isn’t on in our local TV market so no. There IS a train at a mall just out of town which we might take him to ride on, though.
The classicas of course. And don’t ever ever EVER buy into the ‘if it gets them off the sofa it must be good’ argument.
If it makes mummy and daddy want to repeatedly beat their heads on the window it is not good.
Tara@Sticky Fingers´s last blog ..5 things they don’t tell you about having a boy
You don’t even want to know how much it cost me in Thomas merchandise to get #4 to make #2 in the potty.
The train love is so extreme in this house that if we’re driving and see a train, I have to pull over so we can watch all 200 cars go by.
Yet, I still like Thomas more than the pumpkin love, which last year saw #4 carrying around miniature pumpkins until they started to rot and had to be replaced. When they stopped selling pumpkins, he consented to carrying around acorn squash.
Tracy´s last blog ..Who wants to be rich and happy?
I prefer Barney to Thomas. Thomas makes me want to cry. I have a solution, but E’s not quite ready for it.
Thomas is now just a memory in my house, but that is only because we introduced Star Wars. You probably have a long few years in front of you.
I am still struggling of doing a potty training to my 2 year old son. He still wants to poo and pee with his diapers on.
elmot´s last blog ..Do They Have the Balls To Do It?
My 22 month old son loves nothing more in life than trains, cars, and especially buses. I’m not sure how he became such a “boy.” Certainly his dad had nothing to do with it (he says while applying a gentle exfoliating scrub)
David´s last blog ..WIKIPEDIA (Fun with Facts!)
Oh those days of trains, and such. Kids will do many things to ‘please’ their current fav… James would probably love to watch E gobble down whatever food he may protest over too. Keep this in mind down the road, there’s many ways to parlay his current fav into a bribe. Currently Xbox is very happy with mine when he’s doing his best homework….
Incompetence is a theme threw children’s characters. Do you guys get Postman Pat? Now there’s a useless, and ridiculously overpaid individual.
SingleParentDad´s last blog ..Family portraits and an image update
Man, there are so many ways to bribe our children into “dropping the kids off at the pool.” Applause worked great in our house of all daughters. I often used, “Go potty in the big-girl toilet and I will tell you a story afterwards.” Too. Much. Fun.
Just wait until you start making-up stories about TtTE- your kid will poo like crazy to hear your stories.
GREAT post.
-Sean
http://www.daddyteller.com
Sean Buvala´s last undefined ..If you register your site for free at