It’s NOT a party! Or… my best post EVER!
(Warning: If you are a woman or a woman who happens to be married to me, you may not want to read this post.)
My wife asked if I can watch E Saturday morning. She’s going to a party.
A party? Who has a party in the morning?
This isn’t REALLY a party, though. It’s one of those “parties” where women invite EVERYBODY they’ve ever known to their house where some “consultant” attempts to sell them overpriced cookware, er I’m sorry, kitchen tools.
THAT is not a party. That is a sales presentation.
And while my wife seems to enjoy the prospect of going to someone’s house to watch someone show off the latest in handy plastic and Teflon coated doo-dads, it sounds to me like two hours of Pure Unadulterated Hell.
“But you get prizes,” my wife explained.
Great, just what we need, another egg fluffer thingamabob or strainer that‘s too damned small to strain anything other than a tiny can of peas! We’ve already got a cabinet full of these “prizes” from the previous “parties” she’d gone to.
“Do you really need to go to this party?” I asked. It’s not like we’re rolling in dough at the moment.
She assured me that she doesn’t plan to buy anything.
Yeah, right.
I know how these “parties” go. Some woman guilt trips her friends and co-workers to come to her house so someone higher up the company food chain (the consultant making the REAL money by convincing a bunch of other women to host these parties) can sell to them. I tell you now, if a guy I know invited me to some sales presentation disguised as a party, I’d likely hit him over the head with a Teflon pan.
But for some reason, women get excited about these damned parties.
I happened to walk in on one of these parties once. If you’re a guy, I highly recommend staying as far away as you can. You will never look at your wife the same. Women become some sort of different creature at these things!
They all gather round and chat while cooking or baking something using the latest in overpriced products. Then they all go “ooh” and “ahh” and even clap like the ladies on Oprah, when Oprah gives the audience a book or something.
And then the hostess passes out order forms and asks you to purchase something.
Now here’s the thing about that.
You can’t be a jerk and NOT order something.
That would be rude. Especially after this friend just invited you to this awesome “party”. To turn the screws a bit tighter, the consultant tells the women that the more they buy, the more “free stuff” the hostess of the party will get. So, now you HAVE to buy crap because your friend is eying that super expensive pan that lets you cook four pancakes at once.
Four pancakes at once, I tell you!
So even though you can’t afford it, you buy something on the list. And there’s a good chance that you bought something just expensive enough to help your friend get some extra points towards her free crap but not expensive enough to be of any practical use around YOUR house.
You know, like a $20 can opener that doesn’t open cans.
True story – my wife bought just such a can opener from one of these parties. She swore up and down that even though it was hand held and non-mechanical, it was the Best Can Opener Ever! It opens cans in such a way that it doesn’t leave any sharp edges and you can (wait for it, guys) EVEN put the lid back on the can!
You’d think it could cure the swine flu or something (way to work in the topical, Dave) the way my wife was going on about it. It was more expensive than any can opener I ever bought, but hey, what do I know, I’m just a guy.
So four months later, the can opener stopped opening cans. Only, my wife refuses to admit this. She will sit there and struggle with this damned thing, turning it over and over and over and over for 10 minutes, rather than admitting that she bought a crappy, overpriced can opener.
I like to be a bit more dramatic, you know, just to call attention to the fact that it is in fact, the WORST CAN OPENER EVER!
I turn it and turn it until I can get a little groove in the can. Then, I stick my fingers into the small crevice I made and start grunting and then rip the can open all Hercules-style! This is much more impressive than it sounds!
We’ve had this can opener for almost six years.
And I’m not buying a new one until she admits that I’m right.
And cookware parties aren’t the only crazy sales presentations these women host in their homes. Now they’re selling candles.
Yes, CANDLES!
A party to sell candles!
I feel like I should just take a bow now because I’ve proven just how crazy women really are.
And this is when I realized that they aren’t crazy. They are geniuses!
It’s not about the party, though women do love any chance to get together and make food and gab. This is about having an excuse to buy overpriced crap. You see, if our wives went to the store and bought this expensive stuff, when there were perfectly reasonably priced alternatives, we’d probably take issue with it.
But since it’s a “party” they have an excuse and we can’t say anything.
Well, I demand equality. I want a party, too!
I think it’s high time that guys start hosting “parties” and inviting all their obnoxious friends over to the house to barbecue, drink, play video games or some other “guy-thing” and then WE can have an excuse to blow money on overpriced gadgets.
And the first thing I’m gonna buy at one of these parties is a damned can opener that works!
To any women I may have offended, let me make it up to you with a link to a funny post about these kinds of parties that also features half naked guys.
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51 Responses to “It’s NOT a party! Or… my best post EVER!”
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Ummmmmmm, nope not tutting at you at all. I don’t like those parties cause hey lets face it, I hardly spend that much time in my kitchen.
However me and my friends have the naughty knicker type parties, where we all get really drunk and come home with chocolate willies and battery operated devices. No egg whisking in sight
Yummy Mammys last blog post..Mojo is Missing
Yummy – Now, THOSE sorts of parties, I’m all for. Heck, I’ll even go to one, if I must!
Our youngest daughter does parties like that for Southern Living. She doesn’t make much from them, but she sure does have some nice decorations for her new house — and we’ve benefited from it in the nice decorator gifts that we’ve received on the appropriate holiday, though, of course, Karen has bought a few, too, “to help Jes out.” Even though we don’t have room for more stuff, often the Southern Living stuff is better than the stuff already out, so it ends up replacing something else. While the parties helped her get to know people in her new neighborhood, she doesn’t have much time for Southern Living Parties any more. She’s decided to get a real job and has gone back to college for a teaching degree.
Oh, and these Southern Living parties she gives? They’re in Wisconsin – not exactly a Southern locale.
Mikes last blog post..The Sun has found some spots
I’m all up for a “man-party” can I come? I’ll bring my two mates, one works for Sony the other for some smallish computer company called Microsoft.
Marc – WelshScribes last blog post..Creative Writing
I love this post. I’ve actually been to one of those parties. They seem to have all the fun element eliminated straight away. And I’ve never had much use for kitchen utensils. The Certain Battery Operated Devices and Chocolate Willy Parties, on the other hand…
But I do have to say the candles one just blows the mind. You need a party to sell candles?
Joely Blacks last blog post..A not-so-short history of me and writing (part three): the writing bit
My mother bought a great can opener that opens cans without leaving an edge and lets you reclose the can again after! It was closer to $50. The thing about it is it actually DOES work and about a year after she got hers I got her to get me one.
Love the thing. We women are a strange breed.
But to those parties… I tend to go and not order. When a friend invites me I tell her up front that I won’t be ordering anything but I’ll gladly come for the party food and the socializing. Usually, they don’t mind (or if they do they won’t admit it). Everything really IS overpriced, no matter what kind of partyplan it is but perhaps, in a way, it is the equivalent of men’s poker night. Those underwear partyplans (especially the kind that show off MENS underwear) are the best ones!
Rebecca Laffar-Smiths last blog post..Add Spark To Your Writing
OMG! I’ve only ever been to two such parties in my life- one was fun and quite juvenile with Mintie-wrapper tearing (I won!), but I didn’t buy anything, and the other was deadly to the nth degree but I got some nice small clothes that fitted me to take away on a trip (I AM small- they weren’t ripping me off!) I think, as in other things, I’m just not a normal woman, as I neither seem to get invited (my reputation precedes me), I’m not really tempted to GO to the things and if I go, I am usually determined not to buy as it will all be useless crap (as you said). But I CAN see the point of the candles… Let’s have a beer-tasting party!
Murfomurfs last blog post..What do they eat for crib??
I’d leave an ‘how dare you. Harrumph’ type comment, but am laughing too much.
Just brilliant Blogger Dad, your wife will be so chuffed with you.
By the way, can I come to your man party too? I could wear stick-on stubble . . .
“I turn it and turn it until I can get a little groove in the can. Then, I stick my fingers into the small crevice I made and start grunting and then rip the can open all Hercules-style!…And I’m not buying a new one until she admits that I’m right. ”
My husband is applauding you from the next room.
I’d rather come to your party – I hate women’s tupperware/makeup/underware parties they scare the crap out of me!
Liz@Violetposys last blog post..And the winners are…….
OH HELL YES!
The whole thing was funny, but my favorite had to be when you said if a man invited you to a party like that, you’d hit him in the head with a pan. NO KIDDING. There’s just no way.
Ladies, I love you, but seriously? Just because there’s balloons and giggles doesn’t mean it isn’t a sales pitch.
Writer Dads last blog post..My Daughter Danced For Me
I’m with you on this one. I hate those damn parties. At least you dads aren’t expected to attend. I’m forever having to come up with excuses so I won’t have to endure them.
My mother-in-law, who incidentally is the biggest faller for two-for-one or 50% off ‘deals’, recently went to a candle party. She spent £80, that’s like $130 on waxed string, she did not need, or even want. And it doesn’t end there, she is now hosting her own ‘party’, what a dick.
SingleParentDads last blog post..It’s Only a Cough
1) BEST. POST. EVER. It has been declared and it is so.
2) I am a woman who has managed to elude ALL stupid sales parties to which she was invited. I refuse. Blatantly. I have offended many and apologized for none.
3) You wouldn’t mind a tomboy tagging along to your boy party, would you?
~beths last blog post..A Moment To Put It Back Into Perspective
HAHAHA. I have been to a candle party before and when I had to throw my own I made it into a candle/margarita party. I couldn’t hack it though because I didn’t like trying to encourage people to buy more.
Karens last blog post..Facts about me
I hate it when you think you’re getting invited to somebody’s house because maybe they like you and want to be friends and so you scramble to get things arranged so you can go and it turns out they just invited you so they could get their Pampered Chef hostess gift.
Oooh, I am remembering those people’s names and one day they will pay.
Hmmm, maybe I could start some company that sells those cables so that you can hook your tv and your toaster and your cell phone all to your computer and other assorted crap and have man parties. And you know, you all go to the host’s house and hook up all the crap and make roomba battle tanks and stuff like that. I’ll have franchises!
Nobody steal that idea for my Hook Up parties, okay?
I’ve been to Tupperware parties, Pampered Chef parties, Clothing and Jewelry parties, Naughty Stuff parties, and… yes… even Candle parties. (I’ve even hosted a few parties myself.)
I have fun with my friends and co-workers while I’m there, so it is a party for me.
And I really don’t buy something every time I go to one. Really. Only if I actually need the product.
GreenJellos last blog post..Friday Fill-Ins
Ok this was soo funny. And I as a women actually hate those parties. And like the comment above said. The person at work never talks to you but then when they have a party they invite like you are really friends… LOL Anyway great post!
Jodees last blog post..What an amazing father…
Wow, this is soooooooooooooooo funny! I, personally, have never liked those parties. I’m a frugal freak so I can’t even begin to fathom spending $20 (or $50, Rebecca–gasp!) on a can opener. But I guess I’m the exception. I don’t know.
*smiles*
Michele
Micheles last blog post..Profiled as a Green Job Hunter on Green Gigs!
ROFL! My story: I was invited to one of these parties at – get this – my boss’ house! It was selling skin care and bath products, and we all got to try stuff out. However, it was more to show off how gorgeous her house was, since she had spent millions building and decorating it.
I didn’t end up buying anything, which my boss should have expected (hey, she knew how much I made!) but did sign up for their email newsletter. Which never came.
~Kimberlee
Kimberlees last blog post..5 Writing Inspiration Resources
Crap! I have one of those can openers, and I like it! Do I have to turn in my “mancard?”
Turf Dads last blog post..Friday Film Favorites 11
Well – I am a said consultant for one of these God forsaken parties – tastefully simple to be exact…food – SIMPLE food…
Wanna hear the kicker? I HATE home parties – despise them actually. I’m the girl that feels like she HAS to buy something at the freakin’ party even if I have neither the money or the need for such an item – I ALWAYS try and find a way out of EVERY party I’m invited to…
So…over the last few years I actually turn DOWN anyone that asks to host a home party and instead have them do what I call a ‘catalog’ show – their friends and family look over the catalog or online tastefullysimple/web/dgust and place their orders that way – hostess still gets all the free stuff – no one feels obligated to buy anything…
everyone wins!
I really really believe in the product I sell hence the reason I’m still a consultant but refuse to do home parties!
darcies last blog post..Mission Completed ~
Duh. We know it is a sales pitch. It is just a fun sales pitch. And at lest you actually learn something about the products and see them in action before buying.
Jennifers last blog post..Favorites Friday
Oh I love this post, Blogger Dad,
In years past I went to and even hosted those kinds of parties. They are more of a gab fest than anything, plus a great night/morning out for the gals.
Yeah, we all know the stuff is overpriced, but because we love our girl friends we often find the cheapest thing to order so as not to offend.
And…if we all had a great time, many of us will sign up to have a party at our house. Just warning you, you’re wife MAY be hosting the next party. Just think of all the great gadgets she will get for free.
Sounds like it would make great material for a future post.
Barbara Swaffords last blog post..Are Introverts Better Bloggers
Fight the power! Finally someone else speaks out about these scams. My wife went once and ended up spending $35 on lip balm — the guilt just creeps up. There needs to be an act of congress to outlaw these things.
Ha Ha! Or should I put LOL. It’s all true every single thing you write. I’ve been in all positions, the person making the money, the hostess and party goer.
Before your wife becomes a consultant make sure there are less than 24,00o people above her or it’s impossible to make money. No go ahead and have a party!
I am laughing so hard…because I know these parties – sales moments well and as soon as one group found I had no money to spend they stopped inviting me, and another group wanted me to have the party which would have made more guilt about buying more things so I could get more prizes as the hostess. I did hostess a party for a PT trying to pay off her graduate degree by giving spa parties…she did a great job and folks spent a lot of money for her.
The spa parties are for men and woman and the men in the room enjoyed the experience to the fullest – it might have helped that I made a gourmet feast to accompany
Your writing is wonderful and I loved this post…
better than any party I have ever attended – no lie
Patricias last blog post..anniversary
ROFLOL – The first thing I thought of when you said “man parties” is why isn’t some micro-brewery hosting beer tasting parties? They’d probably make a fortune!
If you actually have a use for any of the stuff being sold it might not be too bad. One thing I know for sure is Teflon is baaadddddd for you so I hope she doesn’t buy anything coated with that stuff. The fumes will kill Cockatoos and other birds. Remember the canaries in the coal mines? If it kills birds it couldn’t be good for the people and other pets either.
InternetStrategist@GrowMaps last blog post..New Type of Scraped Comment Blog Spam
OK, so this post is very wittily written and I did manage a wry smile (despite the typically cynical, male skew – but given that you are blogger Dad, not blogger Mum or blogger Girl, I guess this is allowed!). But just to play devil’s advocate, I am going to stick my neck out and defend the return of ‘the girl’s night in’!!
1. I’d much rather buy stuff in the comfort of a friend’s house, with a glass of wine in one hand and some yummy canapes in the other. The alternative method of trooping round a zillion different shops, dodging the rain and other grumpy shoppers is just not that appealing, thank you very much.
2. I also like hearing the inside sccop (ok, sales patter) into what’s being sold, by someone who has actually bothered to research the goods they’re selling and probably uses them every day herself. This beats going into a regular store and asking why the stainless steel saucepan is better than the aluminum-titanium pan, only for an ignorant ‘sales-person’ to look blankly at you and read off the marketing blurb from the packaging. Thanks, I could do that myself.
3. So someone’s getting commission for selling this stuff. How is this different to anything we buy in the big wide world – from houses to cars to groceries? Everyone’s getting their mark-up. It’s called business. Ever heard of the phrase, There’s no such thing as a free lunch?. Besides, the sales consultant is actually spending 3-4 hours of her own time to be at this ‘party’, not to mention all the hours spent travelling, preparing the show, cleaning up afterwards and placing the orders with the parent company (my best friend does a direct sales job so I have an idea of what it entails).
4. Yes the hostess gets freebies. But it’s not exclusive to them and them alone. Any and every guest can in turn host their own sales party and receive the same benefits. The previous hostess is usually more than happy to return the favour by coming as a guest – and in the case of Pampered Chef has a 10% for a year after hosting, so will normally be more than happy to purchase something herself.
As a choice of how to shop, For me, it’s a no-brainer. But hey, if you want to troop round some over-heated, busy stores, wrestling heavily-laden fellow shoppers and trying to catch the attention of a helpful sales-person, good luck Blogger Dad! Just one of the many differences, perhaps, between us women and the unfathomable Male of the species. (Maybe my man is a metrosexual but he’s on my side on this one too…)
Mamma Pos last blog post..Baby-Led Potty Training
Oh Blogger Dad, your wife really has you fooled. You think she goes because she likes these parties? No, she goes for the break from E. I think she buys expensive can openers to make you think she actually went to these parties (because no woman in reality likes a basket or cookware party).
But you might suggest that she go to a sex toy party next time. I know my husband was very happy with the things I brought home from that one. He didn’t complain a bit. Or a Gold Party where she goes and sells all of the old stuff from her jewelery box and comes home with extra $. Those aren’t half bad. The rest are dreadfully boring.
You know what Alisa, I was thinking about this last night. A few months back my neighbor had some sort of makeover party and invited me and said something like this is a good excuse for us to sit back, have a few glasses of wine and have a neighborhood girl’s night out.
Which I am all for, but why do we have to have some strange woman smear stuff on our faces to feel like we can have a girl’s night out?
I see the ridiculousness of it all, but:
1. It’s not like you don’t know what you are getting into when you accept the invitation
2. That overpriced jar of fudge sauce is still probably cheaper than a beers with the boys or a ticket to a sporting event (and yummier)
3. Your true friends will understand if sometimes a purchase is just not in your budget.
4. I do have that can opener and think it’s awesome
First, thanks to all the new faces who have dropped by! I appreciate the comments.
An update: My wife read the post last night. She laughed. When she got to the can opener part, she rolled her eyes and said, “It does work, you just don’t know how to use it.” Obviously, she’s still in denial, so it looks like we’ll have the can opener for another decade.
Most of you agreed with me, which surprised me. I thought for sure, I’d come back to a comment room full of torches and pitchforks. And to those that defended the parties, that’s cool. I get that they’re fun. And that women are never wrong.
So hopefully, I didn’t miss anybody. Here we go:
Mike – Yeah, Wisconsin doesn’t strike me as the standard Southern Living crowd. At least you got some decent stuff, so it’s not too bad. Glad she found a less annoying way to make a living.
Marc – You, my friend, will be the Guest of Honor!
Joely – Thanks! A chocolate willy party? Wow, talk about ruining chocolate! And yes, apparently, lots of people have parties to sell candles. Insane, right?
Rebecca – a $50 can opener? Wow! As for the underwear party, are you telling me that men are modeling the underwear? If that’s the case, I’m calling for a lingerie party with women to model lingerie. You know, so we can buy it for our wives.
Murfomurf – Be glad that you aren’t invited. You aren’t missing anything. Though I am sure if you put your name out there, lots of women would be glad to have you come to their living rooms and order from their catalogs.
Tara – You can come to my parties any time! Just don’t bring that girlie Dave Fowler guy.
Jamie – Finally, someone gets me! Tell your husband thank you!
Liz@Violetposy – I’ll add you to the list! And yeah, they scare me, too.
Matthew – I take it this post agrees with you?
Writer Dad – Amen, brother. Or as Desmond would say, “brotha”.
Kaza – Yeah, if dads had to attend, they would probably not be nearly as much fun.
SingleParentDad – LOL! You called your mother in law a dick! And… WHAT IS WAXED STRING and how can it cost £80?!
~beth – Thanks! You rock and you are indeed invited to all parties!
Karen – See, you have a soul. I’ve heard some real horror stories about the lengths which some people will go to in attempts to get their friends and family to buy into things – especially those MLM schemes. Which could be a whole other post!
Tracy – LOL! Now that’s a party I’d go to!
GreenJello – I didn’t even KNOW there were jewelry parties! I guess I should be glad my wife doesn’t go to those (and doesn’t generally like jewelry). Those sound like they could be expensive! If people enjoy the parties, that’s cool. This post is meant to be funny. Of course, I’d feel a lot better about the parties if I could have my own to balance things out.
Jodee – Thanks! And those people at work all suck! Tell ‘em I said so.
Michele – Funny thing is, my wife is extremely frugal. If anything, I’m the kind that would be more likely to buy overpriced things, well until I wisened up a few years ago. That just goes to show the brainwashing power of these cults, er, I mean parties!
Kimberlee – LOL. Your boss invited you to a sales party? Wow, talk about putting the pressure on you! “I’m not saying you’ll be fired if you don’t show up. I’d never SAY that.” And be glad you never got the newsletter!
Turf Dad – If yours works, then all the more power to you! I’d love mine if it worked! But it doesn’t. Your Man Card is safe for now. But if I hear you went to a Candle Party, you must turn it in immediately!
darcie – LOL, thanks for commenting. And I like your idea of the no-pressure online show. Of course, from a marketing standpoint, I realize the way it’s done now is likely the best method. I’m just not a salesman.
Jennifer – I might feel different if I didn’t think the products we’ve gotten were far inferior to other products. But maybe you’re going to better parties.
Barbara Swafford – Thanks. And no, my wife will not have a party at our house. Not unless I get to co-host in Speedo’s and a half shirt. We’ll see how long the party lasts, then. Or I can host a lingerie party (complete with models) in the next room.
Playstead – Your wife spent HOW MUCH?! And you didn’t divorce her? She must be one hell of a woman!
Patricia – Thank you! I am sure that you put on a great party, as you seem to care to make sure your guests have great food and fun. I never heard of a spa party. Do I get to wear my Speedo? Thanks again!
InternetStrategist – I don’t buy anything with Teflon, I’m with you there. I think I should contact an ad agency for Miller Lite or something and do a Super Bowl commercial for a beer party for guys. Awesome!
Mama Po – Typical, cynical male skew? Hmmm, that doesn’t seem biased at all. Take a look around my site at my other posts, I think you’ll be surprised to find some rather sensitive, well written, non-cynical posts. Well, unless you read why men are better shoppers. Might want to stay away from that one. Yeah. As for buying products in a smart way. Perhaps you go to parties where people sell quality stuff. However, the parties I’m talking about sell, to me, what seem very overpriced products which have not lived up to the hype and have underperformed in many areas. No, I don’t troop into stores and ask a salesperson questions. I almost never trust a salesperson to give you an unbiased opinion, unless it is somebody that I have come to trust. Before I buy any product which I expect to use for a while, I go online to ConsumerReports.com and do other research to see what actual user experience has been with the products. Then I either buy the item online and never have to deal with anybody (my preferred method), or I go to the store armed with knowledge to make an awesomely perfect purchase, the Blogger Dad way!
Alisa – I knew it! As for the “other party” you mentioned, I don’t know if she’s been invited to one of those. I wouldn’t have a problem with THOSE parties, of course.
Tracy – Yeah, that neighbor is the kind that will be calling you about a special opportunity with Amway next month. Watch out!
Angela – Can you tell me where you got YOUR can opener because ours is far from awesome!
Sorry ladies, don’t hate me for agreeing with Dave, but I LOATHE these parties. I have developed a shopping list of instant excuses for why I cannot attend. Parties that sell clothing with dressing rooms, cosmetics, CANDLES, books. And SCRAP BOOKING… ugh. I don’t have time to be cute and I won’t allow my friends to pressure me to buy things I don’t need or want. Just say NO.
I think I just busted a couple of rules from the “Essential Guide to Being a Lady” handbook.
Sorry (not really).
Cindys last blog post..Being Honest Prevents Roadblocks
Yes, the can opener was closer to $50 but to be fair these are Australian dollars which, when the economy isn’t down the hole, works out to about half that in USD.
I’d be into any lingerie party, men or women’s, if the models were worth watching. Unfortunately, as a guy I don’t think you could get away with hosting a lingerie party on the basis of buying ‘for the wives’. If you did they’d start expecting you to host Tupperware and jewelry parties too!
Rebecca Laffar-Smiths last blog post..The Importance of Pace in Short Fiction
AMEN to that brother!!!!
hehehehehe
urbanvoxs last blog post..Something to chear you up!
Hi… you’ve described the “parties” down to a tee and it’s got me thinking that you’ve been to more than one yourself… and maybe you’re just shifting blame here
Don’t know where I’m going with that… What I actually dropped in for today is to let you know that I’ve been given an award that I would like to share with you. It’s pretty and looks like it belongs at one of the parties, but it’s filled with good wishes.
Call in when you can……… buy one get one free…….. nah.. just come over and have a read and do with the award whatever you fancy.
best wishes Ribbon
Ribbons last blog post..Award…
Maybe if you had went to the party with her they could have taught you how to use the can opener. LOL
Jennifers last blog post..Favorites Friday
Two words for ya, sugar: Lingerie Party.
I used to host them, long ago. I used my discounts and points and whatnot to order…flannel PJs. Snort.
I don’t like those kinds of parties, but I do still have the PJs…nothing lasts like good, cotton flannel.
Shade and Sweetwater,
K (Who wouldn’t be caught dead in lingerie, but hosted the parties to help out the friend who sold the stuff. Yep, I’m a sucker)
Kyddryns last blog post..Ink-A-Dink-A-Do and Aunt D
I hate those parties … and I still go to them. It’s like this little club that sucks you in and you’ll be shunned if you don’t go. “Oh just come … really – you don’t have to buy anything.” YEAH RIGHT!
Nicki at Domestic Centss last blog post..What I Really Want For Mothers Day
One can opener and you believed your wife was at one of those parties, Dave?
Somewhere out there a solidarity-loving sisterhood is laughing all the way to garages full of cost price boxes of ‘let’s pretend we’ve been to one of those parties’ stuff. You guys make it too easy!
janices last blog post..Hunger and Hope
Well, first, your wife should not be asking you to “watch” your child E. It should be something you do because you are the dad and I am sure you don’t ask her to “watch” E everytime you go out. Second, if you were invited to a “party” where they sold hunting equipment, golf clubs or tools, you would pay what you needed to, to get the quality you wanted, needed and deserved.
Mindy,
Firstly, thank you for taking such an interest in my marriage and my role as a father. I could speculate as to why you would make such wild assumptions about me, but I try not to assume anything when it comes to others.
But since you seem like an expert in how a marriage should run. Please tell me how should I have written something that actually happened?
My wife said, “Can you watch E while I go to the party Saturday?” Was there some less horribly misogynistic way for me to write this?
And to respond to your assumption, no I don’t ask my wife to watch E every time I go out because I don’t really go anywhere and when I do, my wife and child or my child are usually with me. Interesting brush you try to paint me with, though.
It is understood that on the weekend, we pretty much spend our time with our son and each other. If one of us wants to do something solo, then yes, we would ask the other, “can you watch E?” There is no double standard in our marriage, it is one of equality. I’d love to hear how you handle such situations in your house, though.
Secondly, your assumptions about me continue to be off target because I don’t hunt or golf and I try to avoid buying tools whenever possible because it can only mean one thing – that I’m going to have to fix something.
To show what a nice guy I am, I’ll let your personal jabs at me stand and even the link back to your site where people can probably find some wonderful products. Say, do you sell can openers that actually work? Because the one I have now sucks.
Your response to Mindy is pretty defensive and passive aggressive. Perhaps she’s hit a nerve? And if so, that might be an interesting feeling to tap in for a future blog piece about why people who make such assumptions angry up your blood a bit.
As a regular reader of your blog, I know that you are the primary caregiver for your son and therefore that you don’t simply occasionally “watch” your son, but care for him much of the time. That being said, irregular readers may not know that, and the truth is that a lot of men do see what they do as “help” and do not take equal responsibility for housework or childcare and the phrasing, “could you watch…” is often used to ask husband’s to essentially babysit. A more neutral phrasing would be, “would you mind looking after him by yourself?”
You may want to take Dave Kellett’s (the brilliant comic artist behind the strip “Sheldon”) advice on dealing with critical comments, and that is to be polite no matter what they say. It always makes you look like the better person and it diffuses the situation.
Orchid64s last blog post..Variety Friday: McHotdog Mega Sausage
Orchid64 – You are right on the money, my comments are defensive. None are of the passive aggressive variety, though.
Usually, I embrace criticism, particularly of my art and writing, as I’ve always felt I could learn from it.
Mindy’s comments were not valid criticisms, they were ignorant and stereotypical, no less offensive than if I were to visit a stay at home mom’s blog and, in a serious manner, say, “why are you whining about your tough day? You just sit on the couch and eat yo-yo’s all day while your husband works his ass off.”
I would certainly expect a response.
Typically, I ignore flamers, trolls and the like. And usually, I don’t launch into full blown explanations (or defenses) of my behavior because it’s just so damned tiresome to hear people explain themselves. In the end, who cares what I have to say or what Mindy has to say? It’s all so meaningless in the grand scheme. However, Mindy caught me in a snarky mood today and yeah, I bit.
Moms enjoy looking at new things like a new kitchen gadget, make up or a house cleaner, things like that! In the end, we sometimes end up regretful when we realized we bought a substandard, overpriced junk. Anyway, you might want to invite your avid readers and commenters to join the Father’s Day contest of Wholesale Furniture Brokers. It’s called Dads and Grads Furniture Blog Contest. Winners will get a chance to win a gift certificate and exchange it with a furniture piece of their choice. Visit our contest page link, http://www.gowfb.com/dads-and-grads-furniture-contest.php
ADVANCE HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!!!!!