Jealous Dad?

Now I know how a lot of moms might feel.

One of my son’s female daycare teachers recently moved out of state. While I might have caused my kindergarten teacher to quit teaching, I don’t think my son caused his teacher to move. At any rate, he now has a male teacher, who he talks about with a huge grin on his face. The guy’s name is is Mr. Dave.

Yes, the guy stole my name!

“I hit Mr. Dave with a ball today,” my son said, smiling.

“You hit him? Was he upset?”

“No,” E said, “he laughed. We were playing.”

Then my son proceeded to laugh as he recalled the moment. And then some more moments. For the first time in my life as a parent, I felt the oddest feeling…

jealousy.

Jealous of a teacher spending time with my son! Given that on some days, I’m wishing I could hand my son over to a teacher for a few hours, just so I can get some work done or some quiet time, I was utterly shocked by this feeling.

I hadn’t given this new feeling much thought in the two weeks since Mr. Dave started teaching my son.

Then tonight, I was running late getting E. By the time I arrived at the school, all the other students had gone home. Before entering my son’s room, I took a peek in the little window which is about head high.

Inside, my son was on the floor sitting down right next to Mr. Dave, playing with Lego’s. And E was having a blast! They looked like a happy father and son playing together. And I felt that twinge again.

Until now, E has only had female teachers. It never once bothered me when he bonded closely with them. After all, you kind of expect it, especially given that most young children’s teachers are women.

Which made me wonder, is this how mothers feel the first time that their child bonds with another woman? Are they jealous of the bond or when their child talks glowingly about the teacher?

The logical center of my brain knows that this is a silly emotion. Insecurity is the root of almost all jealousy and I’m not particularly insecure of my fathering skills – even if I can’t paint a straight line or put up a baby fence without cursing like a sailor.

However, I’m still a bit jealous.

I suppose at the heart of the matter, is that I know this closeness I feel with my son isn’t going to last forever.

Something happens between most men and their sons around puberty, where kids essentially lose their brains to some disease which kills all traces of logic and self control. There’s a drifting apart which is never quite bridged completely. Not among most sons and fathers that I know of, anyway. I dread this moment in raising my child.

The jealousy monster wonders crazy thoughts:

• Does my son have more fun with Mr. Dave than me?
• Is Mr. Dave a better role model (he’s skinny and fit while I’m roughly the size of some household furniture) than I am?

And of course, and man, I feel weak saying this,

• Does he like Mr. Dave more than he likes me?

I know all this is silly, and I’m not typically a jealous person. This time it’s a bit different, though. I feel like I am getting a flash of a future I don’t care to see.

At some point, parents stop being the infallible heroes and stars in their children’s eyes and instead become something else entirely— flawed humans which are all too mortal.

I knew I would experience this. I simply didn’t think I’d experience it this soon.

What do you think? Is this a common experience among the parents out there who read this? Feel free to share your story.

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