Moments a photo cannot capture
“We don’t even have pictures
just memories to hold
that grow sweeter each season
as we slowly grow old”
Toad the Wet Sprocket – “Walk on the Ocean”
Being first-time parents, my wife and I are of course mandated by Federal Law to photograph or record video all our son’s Significant Firsts.
During E’s first two years, we have photo and video of his: first ride home from the hospital, first bottle feeding, first time eating solid food, first hair cut, first steps (or as close we could get to the day), first birthday and holidays, first time at a park, first time trying yogurt, first time making the “yogurt face” before spitting yogurt out, and more.
With affordable digital cameras, technology has allowed people to chronicle their children’s lives like never before.
Technology is great. It allows us to remember things we might have otherwise forgotten. For instance, I would have sworn that my son was always blonde haired and skinny. However, our photos of a darker haired Buddha-bellied infant we brought home prove otherwise.
Sometimes, though, technology subtracts from the important moments.
It’s all too easy to get caught up in the act of taking photos. I often find myself fidgeting with camera settings, trying to get E to stand still long enough to get a good (no, the PERFECT) shot, looking for fresh batteries or scanning the memory card for something I can delete because I was too lazy to upload the pictures and clear the memory card, and wondering why we have SO MANY damned pictures of the cats?!
All too often, I spend more time trying to chronicle an event than actually enjoying it.
Which brings us to Friday.
We found ourselves driving near the beach just before sunset when it occurred to me that E has never seen the ocean.
“Hey, let’s take E to the beach,” I said.
“But we don’t have the camera,” my wife said.
Oh yeah. I forgot about the Must Take Photos of Every Significant First rule.
“So, do you want to wait?” I asked.
She gave it some thought and said, “No, we can go.”
Walk on the Ocean
I was a bit nervous that E would be afraid of the ocean, as his first exposure to a large body of water – a swimming pool – didn’t go well. He cried the minute his feet got wet. The look on his face was one of betrayal and fear.
However, the beach was a different story. Once his little toes hit the cold, wet shore, he was all smiles and excited whoops, calling the frothy surf “bubbles” and pointing at birds and saying, “ooh, ooh, bird, bird!”
We stood at the perimeter of the breaking waves. My wife had taken her shoes off and rolled up her pants. She and E drew closer to the water’s edge while I watched from a few feet behind them.
I stood there, soaking in the moment – the cries of gulls, the salty breeze and the sound of slowly churning waves.
Suddenly, I saw that the waves were racing towards my wife and E. While she was prepared to get her feet wet up to her ankles, she was not prepared for the encroaching tide.
“Uh oh,” I said, “run!”
As I bolted back to safety, the water rolled in up to my wife’s calves and soaking the bottom of her pants. She picked E up before he could get soaked.
Dangling above the waves, E looked a bit concerned, but wasn’t frightened. In fact, once his feet hit the sand again, he started running back towards the waves with a huge smile on his face.
Before we left, I bent over and pointed at the many shells which had washed ashore and told E to grab one. He picked up a white seashell with tiny, uncertain hands, brought it up to his face, contemplating it. Then he handed the shell to me, bent down to get another, which he also handed to me. I put them both in my pocket, mementos.
It occurred to me that it would be nice to have pictures to chronicle this day. A woman behind me was taking pictures of her own family. I considered asking her to take a picture of us and emailing it to me.
But then, as I looked at my wife and son, the joy in both their faces, I knew in my heart that I didn’t need a photo.
I will never forget this day.
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13 Responses to “Moments a photo cannot capture”
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Beautiful, Dave. I was insane, high on digital never having to buy film ever again man when my daughter was born, but I relaxed a lot once my son joined the team. It was just way harder to keep up and those “perfect shots” stopped existing. Now if I have the camera, great. If not, that’s okay too. I just make sure my memory is always on.
Writer Dads last blog post..Meet Mia, My Little Girl
You may never forget the feelings of the day, but time does start to erase the vividness of the memories.
I wish I had taken more pictures when they were young!
GreenJellos last blog post..Conversation
I have made the conscious choice NOT to bring a camera along on an outing – sometimes one need to be a party to the moment, not merely a witness.
Shade and Sweetwater,
K
Kyddryns last blog post..Of Time and Tide
Very nice and a joy to read, We did not have a video camera so we did not chronicle all the firsts. We would borrow the office camera on Sundays and take a picture of each kid every Sunday. The memories dim with time, but something some one says will cause it to come running back.
At 94, my mum said she could not remember things when a child, but she could remember all the addresses of every house she called home. So we started there and I would call out an idea – it was amazing the stories she told about Christmas, climbing on the roof, walking to school with friends and her parents expectations.
Lots of ways to open the file drawers!
Patricias last blog post..Someone’s in The Kitchen With Patricia
We all surely need to try to let the camera and pictures be a part of the moment and the fun but not let them dominate the moment. They should be a tool not a necessity.
Otter Thomass last blog post..Baby Shots Round Two
I never jumped on the video cam band wagon. I much preferred viewing my childrens’ lives directly rather than through the lense of a camera. And seriously, how often do you sit and watch those home movies anyway.
I do try to keep my digital camera at the ready, but never at the expense of the moment.
You really experienced the beach, and could recall the details vividly enough to put me there with you. Could you have done that if focused on the camera instead of the moment?
Pictures are good. Recalled memories are so much better.
Urban Panthers last blog post..The Lair has a new look
Writer Dad – I can’t EVEN imagine how much money we would have spent developing film if we didn’t have a digital camera.
GreenJello – Yeah, the brain is a faulty memory device. I suppose in the best of both worlds, we could record out visual stream and replay it at anytime.
Kyddryn – Well said!
Patricia – Nice story! There are these memory books which are sold in various places which prompt you for memories, which you then write in. They make great gifts to hand down the generations and can help trigger some long lost memories.
Otter – Agreed! Though the photographer in me sometimes finds it hard to let go.
This is a really lovely post, which makes me think about how lucky we are to have stories, and to have the skill to share them and an audience to share them with. You have created a picture with your words, as well as in your memory. I would rather have those pictures than a photograph any day.
Kristin T. (@kt_writes)s last blog post..Parenting is not a spectator sport
Pictures may speak a 1000 words but I think this blog post does the moment a sort of justice a photograph could never achieve.
Besides, taking a camera to the beach is not always the greatest of ideas. That sand gets *everywhere*!
Marc – WelshScribes last blog post..Giving Appreciation and Honor To Entrepreneurs
Urban Panther – Thank you. And no, it’s hard to recall things as well when you’re staring through a lens. Sometimes when I was at the newspaper, I had to both cover and event with photos and a story. It’s much more difficult to get details of a story when you’re trying to get a front page photo. Although, sometimes photos have helped me flesh out details I might not have noted otherwise.
Kristin – Thanks for stopping by. And thanks for the kind words. I appreciate that people read this and give me a chance to document these memories.
Marc – Thanks! Since many of my posts run nearly 1,000 words, I often think a picture might be a bit easier.
I’m looking forward to the day when we can create recordings direct from the visual cortex like you see in some sci-fi movies/series. For a while I carried my camera with me always, just in case, but ultimately there were a lot of occasions I never used it when I wish I did or used it when I wish I’d just been joining the fun instead of chronicling it. In the end, the best part is knowing you were there, you got to be a part of those firsts. Not all families can say that.
Rebecca Laffar-Smiths last blog post..Book Review: George Singleton’s Pep Talks, Warnings & Screeds
Thanks for stopping by! I am definitely waiting for the day when we can create such recordings. Of course, some poor guy will get busted when his wife reviews his recording and sees that he was checking out some babes at the beach. (not me, of course). And on a serious note, it is great to be there for such firsts.
Something my daddy has always told me is that the best camera in the world is between your ears. It never helped me feel better when I missed those “perfect” shots because I forgot to take my camera somewhere, but he is right. Often I’ll just sit and watch what my children are doing, trying to memorize every little bit so I won’t forget it.
Monkey’s first trip to the beach, she tried to eat the sand. I think your trip sounds a little more fun
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