My son has a new friend.
E looks outside the back door window morning, noon and night, and calls out to his friend.
“Bizzard? Where are you?”
Bizzard is of course, a lizard who likes tohang out in our back yard.
My son finds Bizzard’s routine very interesting. So interesting that he will sit and watch Bizzard for a half hour or more. And by watch, I mean he will sit or stand at one of the back windows and stare.
I know what you’re thinking, “Hey, the kid’s found something to occupy himself with, now you can get some stuff done, like picking up around the house for a change.”
Um, no.
Because you see, Bizzard watching is apparently an activity best enjoyed by groups of two or more.
The routine goes as follows:
E will look out the window and call for Bizzard. If he sees Bizzard, he gets very excited and runs to my wife or I, yelling , “BIZZARD!” He then grabs our hands and says, “come… bizzard.”
And then we sit and watch Bizzard.
Not to sound like a jerk, but Bizzard watching is not nearly as much fun for me as it is for my son.
For one, the damned thing hardly EVER moves! At least if he were doing that weird pushup thing they do when the flex out the red part of their neck, it would be SOMETHING to watch. The other reason Bizzard Watching can be difficult is the lack of proper seating.
The problem is that our house is not arranged in such a way to make sitting at the back door or one of the back windows all that comfortable. You either have to sit in one of our uncomfortable kitchen chairs, which I think were made to ensure house guests that use them don’t overstay their welcome, or you have to sit on the floor.
I’m tempted to drag the couch across the living room, away from the TV and sit it at the back door.
Hell, I’m tempted to do it just to see what kind of looks people give us when they come over.
“Um, why are your couches facing the back door?”
My son first discovered Bizzard last week. The reptile was clinging to the outside of the back door. How my son spotted him and the cats – who were sleeping just a few feet below the creature – did not, I have no idea. Because these cats love to swat at any creature who even attempts to come onto our back porch or into our house.
I hope the cats don’t get a hold of Bizzard, because that might traumatize my son.
I’m not even sure if Bizzard is the same lizard or a collection of different lizards who show up from day to day. I’ve yet to see two at once, though, so who knows.
I’m not sure which is more disappointing, when he sees Bizzard, and I have to stop what I’m doing to watch it with him, or when he doesn’t see Bizzard and sits at the window like a boy waiting for his lost pet to return.
“Where’s Bizzard?” he’ll ask.
I’ve made up several stories about Bizzard, how he had to go eat dinner with his mommy and daddy, how it’s too hot and he needed to go home and take a nap and that he lives in a copse of brush in our back yard. Incidentally, for reasons I am not entirely certain, my son also thinks that a pin pin (penguin) lives in our back yard.
Truth be told, while there are lots of things I should probably be doing with my time – like cleaning the house – there are few things I’d rather do than watching Bizzards with E.
Looking for some more laughs? Check out my second installment of my advice column, Ask Blogger Dad over at Dad-O-Matic.
Looking for some scares? Chapter Four of the book I am co-writing, Available Darkness is live at Collective Inkwell.
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Ahh that is so sweet.
I hope Bizzard stays safe from your cats!
Marylins last blog post..No sleep makes mummy a cranky bitch.
Feeling your pleasure/pain my friend.
Being dragged to see things that are immensely entertaining for a toddler, but for an adult not-so-much, can be a little frustrating, while being wonderful at the same time.
SingleParentDads last blog post..Disney’s Bedtime Stories
Oh your son is too adorable! My daughter’s fascinations with things always requires two or more people to watch them, too. It takes a lot of patience, especially if it is something as slow moving as Bizzard is. At least we get to watch our children watching something else, so there is some amusement in it for us but those minutes do tick by so s.l.o.w.l.y. Great post! It had me chuckling
Kimerlys last blog post..Welcome Blogging Mama!
I feel your pain.
We have Cyril & Cybil, squirrels who live in the tree in our back garden. Many a morning, afternoon and early evening has been spent staring at them as they go about their business.
Laura Drivers last blog post..Clicking My Heels and a ‘Muffin Off’
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Evil Cat Meets Bizzard is a story I’d love to hear. Do you think you could draw up a few panels to accompany the story? They could become best of friends until they’re separated when suddenly Bizzard goes missing. In the final frame Evil Cat could burp leaving it open ended?
Dave Fowlers last blog post..Hot Movie Actresses
For some reason, I see a comic, a new “Bizzard Takes A Nap: How to teach your children to love naps” book coming out real soon…just sayin’.
Sals last blog post..Death of the Heart
Too sweet, Dave. My son has two outdoor playmates. They are spiders whose names are James and Diego. I’m sure it’s at least a little more fun to watch Bizzard though, seeing as he actually exists.
Writer Dads last blog post..Meme Oh My-O
Lovely – it brought back memories of when mine were wee. Their happiest holiday memories in Greece were of watching ants together and feeding them crumbs. Could have saved a lot of money if we’d known ants were way cooler than swimming in turquoise oceans and playing on hot, sandy beaches…
janices last blog post..Writing to Connect: Does Your Writing Stink?
This is a hobby I could not handle. I’m scared to death of lizards. Even the picture you posted above freaks me out. What am I going to do with a boy????? The girl I was able to terrify away from them. But a boy…. I just don’t know. I think I need to book some therapy sessions now.
Jennifers last blog post..Revenge…. Sweet, Cold Revenge
I love this story. Maybe you should get him a pet for his room and he can watch them all day.
Danielles last blog post..Realization
Bring Bizzard indoors… seriously. Lizards are the best pets EVER. They require very little upkeep, they don’t stink, and they provide constant entertainment for the cats (and little ones) in the household.
Just be sure to get a slider top for the glass aquarium, or else the kitties will for sure have a tasty lunch!
GreenJellos last blog post..Texting Conversation
That story cracks me up. I don’t know why but “Where’s Bizzard?” if funny. My son can’t talk yet but I have been known to sit on the floor with him watching the dogs just to make him happy.
Otters last blog post..Trying New Things
Aww so cute! We had a turtle that would wander into our back yard off and on last summer. Late this winter, right before Spring I found an empty turtle shell under the fallen leaves. My kids think the turtle moved to a bigger shell like a hermit crab.
I am pretty sure it was those feral neighborhood cats, though. Did you know one of them has a kidney problem and our neighbors buy special cat food for him and leave it outside? How do you even know a stray cat has a kidney problem?
Tracy O’Connors last blog post..5 Super Creepy Songs
Very sweet! And be glad Bizzard keeps coming back. (And yes, hopefully no cat gets to him…)
Right now we have an issue with Thunder in our home. We talked about it so much with the recent thunderstorms, that my Little Dude is lost without it. I feel like I should be performing sacred rain dances in my living room to call upon the thunder to visit him. He keeps asking, “where’s thunder?” And then, “want to see thunder,” has been requested repeatedly, and he’s getting bored with our response of, “thunder hides in the clouds.”
I’m thrilled he isn’t scared of the lightning and thunder, but now thunder is a personal friend – one who doesn’t show up upon request.
RC – Rambling Along…s last blog post..Fallen hero
Bizzard is probably off doing a car insurance commercial.
I completely understand where you are coming from. There is also no place I would rather be than hanging out with my son.
James (Seattledad)s last blog post..Secret Plan
That’s cute, Dave.
My 4 yr old niece Jaime has a knack for finding insects in my parent’s house. She’s no longer scared about seeing a spider because I told her that some were my friends (even named one Charlie). Now she knows which spiders are “friends” and which ones grandpa needs to get rid of.
Hi Blogger Dad,
I love this story and how you’re creating memories with your son. This would be great to have on video to show him when he gets older.
Thank you for a heartwarming story.
Barbara Swaffords last blog post..For The Sake Of The Children – Blog Smart
Nice story David and brings me down memory lane with a chuckle….
We found a newt thingy in the downstairs bedroom when we first moved in this house. The girls put it in a jar, but after a day thought since it was used to drains and such they should put it outside. We had no internet – in those days!!! How did we do it?
So our next trip to the Library we looked up this creature from the deep – now named RED…Oh my goodness – it is highly toxic and it was so wonderful we did not touch it…or the cats go after it….It so scared my socks off and the girls were all quiet for the next few days – sobering…
Good story
Patricias last blog post..Summer Reading: Breakfast with Buddha ~Roland Merullo
That is great! My oldest used to do the same thing with a squirrel. At least it was more interesting to look at!
SparkDads last blog post..Our First Win!
The whole time I’m reading this, the thing that stuck in my head was:
“Wow, he lives in a climate warm enough to support bizzards … um, lizzards.”
Sigh.
Wow, those are the moments life is made of. And they pass so quickly. Making up stories about Bizzard could be a priceless addition to your family traditions and legacy.
My kids are all at the age now they wanna take the BB gun or wrist rocket out and hunt Bizzards!
Awesome moments. Thanks for sharing!
Mr. Nuggetss last blog post..Benny the Race Car
Heelllooo there…given you an award over at my Supply and….blog;. Hope tha’s ok?
katherines last blog post..
Marylin – Thanks and as long as Bizzard stays outside, he/she should be fine.
SingleParentDad – Agreed.
Kimerly – Thank you! Yes, watching my son’s reaction is 90% of the fun.
Laura Driver – Cyril and Cybil sound entertaining!
Dave – Someone’s been reading too much Garfield.
Sal – LOL! The thing about it is Bizzard REFUSES to move for long periods of time.
Writer Dad – My son has the same reaction to spiders as I do – “eeeew!”
janice – Maybe Greek ants are more entertaining.
Jennifer – LOL! Well, just scare your child by telling them that lizards have cooties.
Danielle – Thanks! Well lizards can have salmonella, so probably not. I would like an aquarium, though. He likes to watch fish, too.
GreenJello – Read my above note for reasons not to bring them in. Plus, I know my cats would find a way to get the lizard! They are evil like that.
Otter – Thanks. And yeah, it’s even cuter to hear E ask it, in his raspy voice.
Tracy – Those damned cats! As for the kidney problem, the cat probably told your neighbor.
RC – Thanks. My son is recently frightened of thunder. You can get yours one of those rain CD’s – just make sure it’s one without the annoying music. I sometimes listen to mine to fall asleep.
James – LOL. And I agree completely!
Lisa – Hey, stranger! Charlie is a good name for any pet.
Patricia – Thanks! Funny story! I’ve never seen one of those.
Urban Panther – Wanna’ trade? I’m looking for colder climes.
Mr. Nuggets – Yeah, I will likely make a book on Bizzard for my son’s enjoyment. One of my relatives used to torment me as a child by sticking fireworks in lizards’ mouths. It was awful. Eventually, I got brave enough to stop him.
katherine – Thanks for the award! I’ll go check it out.