I really would suggest getting him his own “big boy” bed. That way, he won’t feel locked in and helpless.

Think about how you would feel in an adult sized crib!

GreenJellos last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

I wish you much luck in this, and hope it doesn’t last too long. To put things in perspective though {espeically when we did the whole potty-training thing..ugh!}: Some day, he will sleep by himself. By the time he gets married, it will be done.

Rosie : )s last blog post..When all is quiet…

Now, my second son, on the other hand, not as good a sleeper. But it’s my fault, and I take full responsibility. He was my last child and wanted to savor every bit I could, so I cuddled extra at night, let him fall asleep in my arms, let him sleep with me for naps, etc. He’s 3 1/2 now and still wakes during the night sometimes (1-2 times/week). When we put him down, he’ll get out of bed several times before he’ll settle down. He’s getting to be a better sleeper, but it’s definitely taken longer than the first time around.

But one thing I was consistent on: They slept only in their rooms at night. I didn’t let them fall asleep downstairs or anywhere else. If the need is to soothe, then do it in your son’s room, try not to take him out of his crib. He needs to get used to falling asleep there. Maybe place a hand on his chest with a little comfort pressure until he falls asleep and lessen the pressure gradually (I used to do this with #1), and over a period of time, lessen the amount of time you stay. Something else you can try is right before bed time each time for a while, talk him about the routine and your expectations for him. I know that may sound like a lot of work, but part of his being upset could be that his routine and expectations of how he’s going to fall asleep (in your arms) aren’t being realized any more and that could be disconcerting (even more so to waken where he didn’t fall asleep, I would think). Of course, reassure him that you’re still in the house, etc. Maybe also get him a night light if waking in the dark is bothersome for him.

Whatever you decide, follow your instincts, try whatever you think might work until you hit on the one that does. With #2, putting my hand on his chest didn’t work, but sitting in the rocking chair (later on the floor by the door) while he fell asleep in his crib did. I know all of this is sounds crazy, but if you’ve set up certain patterns, then try to break them suddenly, I think it’s hard on the little ones. But they do adjust quickly, and crying really won’t hurt them. Sometimes I think it’s a good thing, as it releases the last of their energies.

Good luck!

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Children cry. All the time. Soon they learn to do it for attention and if you give them that attention they will constantly crave it and never learn to self sooth with is such an important skill for them.
No child should have to wake up in the night desperate for a hand to hold, they should be happy in their beds, happy to go to their beds and see them as a comforting place to be.
Sure you go in to them and let them know you are there if they need you, but giving in to their wants, be it a bottle, a cuddle, or a talk, will set a bad habit for years to come.
Young children need up to 12 hours sleep a night to develop and they’re not getting that if they’re constantly waking calling for you and waiting for you to come in and settle them back down again.

OK rant over! I really do wish you all the best BD as it can be really tough and totally energy sapping – especially on you and your wife.
Plus we need you back up to blogging speed.

Taras last blog post..An apology

Urban Vox – Thanks, I hope it gets easier.

Matthew – Thanks. This post was surprisingly long for something I wrote quickly in stream of thought.

Writer Dad – Yeah, I don’t want my kid posting HIS version of these stories on the web! Suddenly, I’ll be the butt of the jokes.

Sal – A month straight? Oh God. As to your other question – they will want to sleep in once they have to start going to school.

Kyddryn – Thanks. And there’s nothing at all wrong with being a blogger. But being a writer/artist/blogger, now THAT is a recipe for disaster.

Jennifer – Thanks. Though I doubt my son will be kissing me goodnight when he’s 12. Very few father/son relationships are good once the child hits middle school and begins finding his way in the world. At least if I had a girl, she would always love her daddy.

Tara – on behalf of all the jealous parents, thanks for rubbing it in our faces, jerk! Thanks for the info. The only downside to what you said is the whole “when they’re sick thing”. My son gets colds a lot! So, what do you do when they’re sick? Comfort them on the couch and rock them to sleep?

GreenJello – I’ll pass that on to my wife. I’m far too big to fit in his bed by myself, let alone with another human.

BJ Keltz – I wouldn’t mind that if I didn’t toss and turn like a caged bear. I’d be afraid to let him sleep in the same bed as me. He’d either get squished or waken every time I start moving around.

Jen – thank you. Yeah, you have a bit more experience with this than me.

Jamie – E isn’t happy with a hand holding through the crib. When I go in, he screams until I take him out of the crib. What I didn’t say last night is that despite his limited vocabulary, I swear he actually said, “I don’t wanna sleep in there” while he was crying and pointing at the crib. It was sad. Here I was already to leave him alone to cry it out and then you came in saying what I fear to be the case. (stews in guilt looking for middle ground).

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I know it’s unpopular here, but most societies do not make children sleep alone, in a separate room. It’s normal for him to be upset when he finds himself alone at night.

From a developmental point of view, I don’t agree with letting an infant or toddler cry it out. Ever. The only reason it would be encouraged is if the parent or caregiver is completely stressed out and is afraid he or she might harm the child.

These patterns that are forming right now shape his behavior for the rest of his life. His brain is growing rapidly and is susceptible to the effects of stress.

I always got up with them and often held hands through the crib until they fell back asleep. It’s a pain to get up every time, but it builds a trust that you will always be there. it doesn’t last forever, it just seems that way.

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Jen, buried with childrens last blog post..A Typical Conversation

I read about five years later that Spock and Brazelton finally admitted there were times when it was “okay,” such as when it was about the only time the kids got closeness to their parent. I wish they had decided that sooner. I suffered guilt for two years, but we got sleep.

This is not an option for two parent households. It worked for me in the early 90s, in rough circumstances,that’s all.

Stay firm, keep him in his room, make being in his room part of his bedtime routine. He’ll get the hang of it.