Standing outside a DVD machine with my debit card in my hand Part 1 of 2
Every time I stand in a line, I am reminded why I don’t like people.
I know what you’re thinking – You don’t like people? What kind of sociopath monster are you? Well, I like people in – in the abstract. But up close and personal, eh, not so much. Except you. I like you.
At any rate, I try and avoid lines like some people avoid the dentist’s office. The main reason is that I’m a horrible judge of which line is the best one to get in.
There could be two lines open at the grocery store.
Line A has 20 people in it, each of them with a full shopping cart.
Line B has two people in it. One who is almost done checking out and another, a woman (or it could be a guy, it wouldn’t matter) who has just one item.
Well, most people would get in Line B and would complete their purchase within 20 seconds flat.
If I got in Line B, the woman in front of me would:
- Dig through her purse, pockets and portable expanding file folder for 10 minutes searching for a coupon
- The coupon would be expired
- The woman would pay in pennies
- Half the pennies would be rejected because they were from various countries I’ve never heard of
- The woman, short on cash, would then have to go out to her car in search of more money. And of course the cashier can’t put the sale on hold or anything which might move things along
- The woman would have locked her keys in the car and would then have to ask others for change, a process which takes all of about 14 hours.
In other words, I don’t like lines.
So, when these new Redbox DVD vending machines started popping up around my neighborhood recently, I wanted nothing to do with them. Resistance was tough because they offer new movie rentals for $1 a night. Considering how much the big name rental chains charge these days, that’s a great deal!
Of course when you have a great product idea, you’re going to draw lines. And these DVD boxes attract people like cow patties attract flies.
Usually, I drive right past the long lines of miserable looking people.
Then Wednesday came.
Turns out that while I COULD resist the lure of one dollar rentals, I could NOT resist the lure of a FREE rental. Of course, if I did the math and figured out how much time I would spend waiting in line to both get the movie and then again to return it, I would realize that I was doing math and I hate math.
I also would’ve realized that I was spending far more than a dollar’s worth of time in line.
Yet, there I was on Wednesday, selling my soul for a dollar.
Find out what happened, in part two.
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8 Responses to “Standing outside a DVD machine with my debit card in my hand Part 1 of 2”
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So is this kinda like waiting in line for the follow up? Dang, at least I’m not standing next to anyone sweaty.
Writer Dads last blog post..An Ode to My Boy
Except me. *shakes sweat off on Sean*
Now we’re both sweaty.
There is this Barenaked Ladies song I know of called “Some Fantastic”. One of my favorite lines go: “I’ve just built a new machine. It just measures up the distance and eliminates the folks between.”
If only.
Matthew Drydens last blog post..Preparing for the Night
Man, Matthew. I asked for the news not the weather.
Writer Dads last blog post..Our Education Needs a Revolution
We got to the grocery store at 11pm and there are no lines usually…I get DVDs by mail because I hate the video store more than lines…
I also always carry a book…or a DS player as my life is not without lines…
or sweaty guys!
Patricias last blog post..“My Neighborhood Looks Like a Snow Globe!”
My dislike of REAL people is why I do everything (including watch movies) online. When a person is made up of pixels on my monitor they are much more likeable. Especially since I command the power button.
Rebecca Laffar-Smiths last blog post..Book Review: George Singleton’s Pep Talks, Warnings & Screeds
Dude. One word: Netflix. No lines.