Comments on: The Guilt of the Working Dad http://www.bloggerdad.com/the-guilt-of-the-working-dad/ a little humor, a lot of heart Mon, 09 Jan 2012 13:24:14 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Chris http://www.bloggerdad.com/the-guilt-of-the-working-dad/comment-page-1/#comment-5637 Chris Wed, 23 Feb 2011 01:18:36 +0000 http://www.bloggerdad.com/?p=1515#comment-5637 I had been working multiple jobs when my twins girls were born and was a head coach of a high school football team. I stopped coaching football when the twins were a 1 1/2 years old. It was hard for me to give up coaching as I had been coaching for 14 years. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise to stop coaching football. I since have started my own real estate office and am very busy. I choose to work some days and choose to take off some days and turn my phone off. Turning my phone off on slow days helps me focus on being a dad. When I take my kids to the park or play soccer with them, I turn my phone off. When I see other parents reading their phone or texting while their kids are trying to compete for their attention, it makes me ill. I am guilty sometimes of being that parent, but try and bring myself back to the "now" and be with my kids. I had been working multiple jobs when my twins girls were born and was a head coach of a high school football team. I stopped coaching football when the twins were a 1 1/2 years old. It was hard for me to give up coaching as I had been coaching for 14 years. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise to stop coaching football. I since have started my own real estate office and am very busy. I choose to work some days and choose to take off some days and turn my phone off. Turning my phone off on slow days helps me focus on being a dad.

When I take my kids to the park or play soccer with them, I turn my phone off. When I see other parents reading their phone or texting while their kids are trying to compete for their attention, it makes me ill. I am guilty sometimes of being that parent, but try and bring myself back to the “now” and be with my kids.

]]> By: How to Make a Living in a World of Abundance — Jarkko Laine http://www.bloggerdad.com/the-guilt-of-the-working-dad/comment-page-1/#comment-4864 How to Make a Living in a World of Abundance — Jarkko Laine Mon, 05 Jul 2010 04:25:29 +0000 http://www.bloggerdad.com/?p=1515#comment-4864 [...] Time is precious. Not doing anything is hugely valuable. So, if you are not fighting a big cause, why would you spend all your time working? [...] [...] Time is precious. Not doing anything is hugely valuable. So, if you are not fighting a big cause, why would you spend all your time working? [...]

]]> By: Jeff @ ManoftheHouse.com http://www.bloggerdad.com/the-guilt-of-the-working-dad/comment-page-1/#comment-4776 Jeff @ ManoftheHouse.com Wed, 09 Jun 2010 13:29:09 +0000 http://www.bloggerdad.com/?p=1515#comment-4776 Great post and one that I can certainly relate too. For a long time, I was working long hours and actually hated what I was doing on top of that. When my position was eliminated last year, it was a blessing (albeit in disguise). We were fortunate enough that my wife makes a solid living for our family and could support us in my downtime. During all that, my son was between 7 months and 1 year. Those few months that I got to spend precious time with just him (and the dogs) is something I'll never forget and never take for granted again. Now he's 13 months, I'm back at work, working plenty of hours ... but loving what I do now ... coming home fresh to spend time with him. And it shows in our interactions. I'm glad you were able to have this "moment" however painful it first was to realize. But you've shown the strength to put the computer down, put the phone away and reap the best reward of it all. Keep up the great writing. .-= Jeff @ ManoftheHouse.com´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/manofthehouse/~3/xWyIkrb-ImM/becoming-a-connector-with-professional-networking" rel="nofollow">Becoming a Connector</a> =-. Great post and one that I can certainly relate too. For a long time, I was working long hours and actually hated what I was doing on top of that. When my position was eliminated last year, it was a blessing (albeit in disguise). We were fortunate enough that my wife makes a solid living for our family and could support us in my downtime. During all that, my son was between 7 months and 1 year. Those few months that I got to spend precious time with just him (and the dogs) is something I’ll never forget and never take for granted again. Now he’s 13 months, I’m back at work, working plenty of hours … but loving what I do now … coming home fresh to spend time with him. And it shows in our interactions. I’m glad you were able to have this “moment” however painful it first was to realize. But you’ve shown the strength to put the computer down, put the phone away and reap the best reward of it all. Keep up the great writing.
.-= Jeff @ ManoftheHouse.com´s last blog ..Becoming a Connector =-.

]]> By: BloggerMom http://www.bloggerdad.com/the-guilt-of-the-working-dad/comment-page-1/#comment-4763 BloggerMom Sat, 05 Jun 2010 17:28:12 +0000 http://www.bloggerdad.com/?p=1515#comment-4763 E loves his daddy time. BloggerMom likes BloggerDad time. Squeeze some in there for me, too. :) E loves his daddy time.
BloggerMom likes BloggerDad time. Squeeze some in there for me, too. :)

]]> By: David http://www.bloggerdad.com/the-guilt-of-the-working-dad/comment-page-1/#comment-4761 David Fri, 04 Jun 2010 19:22:26 +0000 http://www.bloggerdad.com/?p=1515#comment-4761 Jim Croce couldn't have said it better (okay, you guys tied). I do find it's harder to immerse oneself in our kid's playtime with all our phones and TV's and little distraction gadgets of our own. They want to play with them. You want to play with them. And sometimes we confuse "being there" with really being there. This was a nice reminder to get back down on the floor and really be there. Jim Croce couldn’t have said it better (okay, you guys tied).

I do find it’s harder to immerse oneself in our kid’s playtime with all our phones and TV’s and little distraction gadgets of our own. They want to play with them. You want to play with them. And sometimes we confuse “being there” with really being there.

This was a nice reminder to get back down on the floor and really be there.

]]> By: Blogger Dad http://www.bloggerdad.com/the-guilt-of-the-working-dad/comment-page-1/#comment-4760 Blogger Dad Fri, 04 Jun 2010 15:31:49 +0000 http://www.bloggerdad.com/?p=1515#comment-4760 Damon - Thank you for commenting. I'm glad my story inspired you a bit. It's tough to find the work-life balance, I hope I can maintain the correct one. Damon – Thank you for commenting. I’m glad my story inspired you a bit. It’s tough to find the work-life balance, I hope I can maintain the correct one.

]]> By: Blogger Dad http://www.bloggerdad.com/the-guilt-of-the-working-dad/comment-page-1/#comment-4759 Blogger Dad Fri, 04 Jun 2010 15:28:56 +0000 http://www.bloggerdad.com/?p=1515#comment-4759 Thank you, Chris. I've been there with the getting laid off. It may have been the best thing which ever happened to me. Even though the financial stress is one of the worst kinds to have to face in its relentless ability to haunt your every waking moment, the time spent with my son is a gift I would never have had were things to have just remained as they were. When I was growing up, my dad worked a lot. And worked hard, so when he was home, he didn't have as much time as I'm sure he would've wanted to spend with me. There was a time, when I was younger, that I resented this. However, once I was old enough to understand it, I now appreciate the sacrifices he made for us. Thank you, Chris. I’ve been there with the getting laid off. It may have been the best thing which ever happened to me. Even though the financial stress is one of the worst kinds to have to face in its relentless ability to haunt your every waking moment, the time spent with my son is a gift I would never have had were things to have just remained as they were.

When I was growing up, my dad worked a lot. And worked hard, so when he was home, he didn’t have as much time as I’m sure he would’ve wanted to spend with me. There was a time, when I was younger, that I resented this. However, once I was old enough to understand it, I now appreciate the sacrifices he made for us.

]]> By: Blogger Dad http://www.bloggerdad.com/the-guilt-of-the-working-dad/comment-page-1/#comment-4758 Blogger Dad Fri, 04 Jun 2010 15:22:39 +0000 http://www.bloggerdad.com/?p=1515#comment-4758 Thanks for commenting, David. And man, that regret sounds painful, but I am certain that we all feel pangs of guilt over things we could have or should have done differently. I guess the trick is not to beat ourselves up over things we can't change, but, as you are, try to do what you can in the here and now. Thanks for commenting, David.
And man, that regret sounds painful, but I am certain that we all feel pangs of guilt over things we could have or should have done differently. I guess the trick is not to beat ourselves up over things we can’t change, but, as you are, try to do what you can in the here and now.

]]> By: Blogger Dad http://www.bloggerdad.com/the-guilt-of-the-working-dad/comment-page-1/#comment-4757 Blogger Dad Fri, 04 Jun 2010 15:20:44 +0000 http://www.bloggerdad.com/?p=1515#comment-4757 Well said, Shane. And that Jello memory is awesome. My son had a similar reaction with yogurt which was really funny. Well said, Shane.
And that Jello memory is awesome. My son had a similar reaction with yogurt which was really funny.

]]> By: Chris Eh Young http://www.bloggerdad.com/the-guilt-of-the-working-dad/comment-page-1/#comment-4756 Chris Eh Young Fri, 04 Jun 2010 12:40:35 +0000 http://www.bloggerdad.com/?p=1515#comment-4756 Great article. As someone who struggled with this for years working 12 hour shifts in a factory and running a business on the side, I missed a lot of my kid's childhoods. I told myself that I was working so they could enjoy all the things I didn't have as a kid. As it turns out, what I didn't have as a kid was good parenting. My father took off when I was little and my mother worked 2 or 3 jobs just to pay the bills. We spent years being bounced around between family members. Last year, I lost my full-time job in the factory. I thought it would be the end of us. What it was, was the beginning of a new life. I now get up with my kids every day, make their lunches, and send them off to school. When they get home, I am here to help with homework, throw the football, of just veg on the couch with them. Sure, it doesn't pay well but I like to think of it as a time investment that pays off now and later. It's a hard pill to swallow being unemployed and it makes paying the bills real tight. What it has also done is make our family tighter as well. We may not have the money we used to to spend on fancy dinners and trips to the movies, now we rent a movie or find one on TV and the 6 of us hit the rec room for Friday night movies. I still have my small part-time business and I have a few other projects on the go. I hope that i can be a stay at home Dad forever. As much as an adjustment it was to not working 200 hours a week. It's an adjustment that if given the choice, I would make again in a heart beat. There are no do-overs raising kids. You only get one chance. Enjoy as many moments as you can. Some say it's quality time that matters. From my experience, quantity matter just as much. Great article. As someone who struggled with this for years working 12 hour shifts in a factory and running a business on the side, I missed a lot of my kid’s childhoods. I told myself that I was working so they could enjoy all the things I didn’t have as a kid.

As it turns out, what I didn’t have as a kid was good parenting. My father took off when I was little and my mother worked 2 or 3 jobs just to pay the bills. We spent years being bounced around between family members.

Last year, I lost my full-time job in the factory. I thought it would be the end of us. What it was, was the beginning of a new life. I now get up with my kids every day, make their lunches, and send them off to school. When they get home, I am here to help with homework, throw the football, of just veg on the couch with them.

Sure, it doesn’t pay well but I like to think of it as a time investment that pays off now and later. It’s a hard pill to swallow being unemployed and it makes paying the bills real tight. What it has also done is make our family tighter as well. We may not have the money we used to to spend on fancy dinners and trips to the movies, now we rent a movie or find one on TV and the 6 of us hit the rec room for Friday night movies.

I still have my small part-time business and I have a few other projects on the go. I hope that i can be a stay at home Dad forever. As much as an adjustment it was to not working 200 hours a week. It’s an adjustment that if given the choice, I would make again in a heart beat.

There are no do-overs raising kids. You only get one chance. Enjoy as many moments as you can. Some say it’s quality time that matters. From my experience, quantity matter just as much.

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