The Incredibly Sad Reason I’ve Been Absent

“Freeze this moment a little bit longer; make each sensation a little bit stronger.” -Time Stand Still by Rush

You might have noticed (or maybe you didn’t, but I’d like to think you did) that I haven’t been around for the past month. I’ve been having a bit of a minor mental breakdown. You see, in one week, I’m going to be Officially Old. Not official like in Logan’s Run, where the government kills people once they reach a certain age. See, a Logan’s Run reference – proof of my oldness! And I’ve not been dealing well with it. But official by Seven-Year-Old Me’s standards.

The Big 4-0 is creeping up on me with all the stealth of an atom bomb, and I can’t help but wonder, what the hell happened?

I’m barely ready to face my 30’s gracefully, and here I am knocking on 40’s door. I’m not saying that all my readers who are over 40 are old – but just that I’m not ready to be 40!

When I was seven, I used to think how incredibly ancient 40-year-olds seemed. I figured by the time I was 40, I’d have written 10 books, I’d have a family, would have my life figured out, and most importantly, I’d be flitting around in one of those Jetson’s flying cars.

Somehow, through some kind of dumb luck and not at all due to my charms, I managed to have a family. But, I’m no closer to having life figured out. Nor do I have 10 books written, though I have half of one book I’m co-writing in progress and a book of my comics published (which is all kinds of cool in itself). And as for the Jetson’s car? Well, that part’s not my fault.

Long story short, I’m facing 40 as I faced 30 – full of regret for a life not lived.

But, unlike age 30, I am no longer crippled by the same fears I once had. And I actually believe in myself a bit more than I did. I’ve actually done some incredible things this decade, things I would’ve never thought possible from where I was at age 29. And the regrets don’t sting as much when I’m actually moving toward something.

It with those mixed feelings of regret and blossoming confidence that I told myself I would have a book done by the time I turn 40. So, last week, I started it. Yes, I’m writing a book in two weeks, so take that, Na-No-Wri-Mo!

To be fair, the book is being co-written by my partner, Sean Platt (who has also been absent from his site, surely further advancing rumors that he and I are the same person) and I. However, unlike Available Darkness (which isn’t dead – just on hold) we aren’t writing it together chapter-by-chapter. I am writing the whole thing then passing it to him for him to work on. So, technically, I am writing a book. In two weeks.

The story began with an idea he’d been storing in his Vault of a Million Ideas.

Sean pitched it to me a few months ago about something we could someday work on. However, something about the story resonated with me long after our discussion. I suggested some changes which really made it the best of both our ideas – a truly magical idea that I don’t think either one of us would’ve written solo.

The story is different from my normal fiction. For one, it’s geared towards fifth or sixth graders. Second, it’s humorous. But where the story really shines is the relationships between fathers and sons. It has something serious to say, something that adults can also enjoy.

I’d love to tell you more, but I’ve got a book to get back to. I’m not getting any younger, you know.

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