A child runs around with a toy in his mouth – should we teach him that life’s consequence of doing that is a spank? That’s not even an accurate reflection of life. What is the ACTUAL potential negative consequence of running around with a toy in your mouth? Choking on that toy, of course. So I will use this situation as an opportunity to have that discussion with my child (and don’t underestimate a two year old’s ability to understand that discussion).

I do follow certain rules when teaching, however:

1) I never try to teach when I am tired, hungry, or angry. The lesson won’t be taught well.
2) I never try to teach when the student is tired, hungry, or angry. The lesson will not truly be learned.

As parents, I believe that we have much wisdom to share with our children, but that it must be shared wisely.
.-= Glad2Dad´s last blog ..What Do You Talk to Your Children About at Dinner =-.

But generally, no hitting of children. It’s an act of revenge disguised (at best) as love.
.-= dadwhowrites´s last blog ..Chickenpox =-.

2) “When your toddler is naughty and you swat their bottom and are done with it, they realize they have done something wrong, there were consequences, and it is over and move on. If instead you are berating your child, the tendancy, especially if they are not listening or showing remorse, can be to belittle them (you are being such a brat, you never listen, etc etc etc.) This, in the long term, causes much more psychological damage than a swat on the bottom ever could.”

I think every child is different. When my DD was first in the walking stage, simply sitting her down and telling her no would make her burst into remorseful tears. Now that she is two, time outs work for her to an extent. But honestly, if I swat her on the bum and tell her no or if I put her in her room or in the timeout corner, there are a lot more broken sobs involved in the timeout. I do try and use spanking as the last resort and only as punishment for things she has done that I feel could put her in danger, or if she is being deliberatly hurtful to others. In most cases she can be reasoned or compromised with. But I will spank her before I give her a time out, because for her personally at this age and stage and as this unique individual, she reacts to timeouts as if they are a traumatic and horrifying thing, and spankings as if they are simple punishment.

Also, though, I will never spank her if I am angry. And my husband never spanks, either, because he is bigger and stronger. And after she’s had a spanking and a moment to calm down we talk about it all and end with hugs. A spanking isn’t a grand whupping, it’s one or two swats on the bum after she’s been informed that if she doesn’t stop then that will be the consequence. And I will not spank outside of the toddler years, either. When she is at a level that we can discuss action and reaction then there will be appropriate consequences for those ages and stages.
.-= lorchick´s last blog ..break =-.

Its a lose-lose.

Dave: Loved your drug rant. Couldn’t agree more.
.-= Writer Dad´s last blog ..The Apple and the Tree =-.

I can say every time I thought of spanking my children, I was also angry or upset because my kids weren’t doing what I wanted them to do.

I can imagine if I did spank my children when I was feeling angry, that I’d be teaching my kids – anger + bigger = control & domination.

I’m convinced that our children learn from their environment and absorb everything we teach them.
.-= Jason´s last blog ..From Attachment to Abundance =-.

Also we don’t give our kids enough credit for being smart. I think that even at less than a year old, kids aren’t “too young” to know what’s going on. They are fully aware of their actions and outcomes of certain actions. Now I wouldn’t spank a child that young, but they understand what’s happening, just don’t have a sophisticated way of communicating their thoughts.

The last point I would like to make is there are tons of ways to damage the unspoken covenant with your child besides spanking, it’s all in the delivery. My goal is to cause a little discomfort for the child, no matter what form the discipline may take (time-out, spanking, taking a toy, etc.). However, do so in love, and a very clear, concise, and very consistant manner. Any discipline, when done with the wrong spirit, or inconsistantly will damage that covenant.
.-= Scott´s last blog ..Standing On Your Own =-.