What an Excellent Day for an Exorcism
I have seen the face of evil and its name is M&M’s.
Yes, the same “melts in your mouth not in your hands” candy that we all know and love is evil. Or more accurately, it has brought out the dark side of my son. There we were in the kitchen, with my two year old son, E, throwing himself to the floor, red-faced and crying, “I WANT CHOC-O-LATE!”
It was like a scene from The Exorcist where my kind, sweet baby had suddenly been possessed by a demon.
Oh yeah, it was also 7:20 a.m. and he wanted M&M’s for breakfast.
And who is to blame for bringing this evil into my house?
Well, my wife says I am, because I bought the candy when we were in the grocery store last week. Oddly, moments before I bought the M&M’s, I was thinking, as I strolled through the candy aisle with my son in the shopping cart, how lucky I am that he doesn’t know what candy is.
Suddenly, his little arm shot forward and his mouth made an excited “O” usually reserved for spotting toys he wants, and he shouted (yes, shouted), “Ooh, Ooh! M’s!”
I had forgotten that in July, my wife’s sister gave her children M&M’s as a nightly snack while she was staying with us for the month. To that point, my son had never had candy, save for a tiny bite of a candy bar last Halloween. But when he saw all the other girls having “M’s,” as he calls them, he had to have some, too. And my sister-in-law gave him some. And now, months later, like some subliminal instruction waiting for a prompt, the Chocolate Monster has reared its ugly head.
And I am totally blaming my sister-in-law.
I was upset when I’d heard she gave him candy, but held my tongue. I can’t expect my child to never have candy. I can’t let my own experience with obesity cloud his enjoyment of food. Right? And her kids eat candy on occasion and they are all still skinny.
It’s tough for me to let him eat candy without picturing him sliding down a candy slide into a real-life version of Candy Land, never to eat healthy food again. He’s a skinny kid who likes a wide variety of food, including vegetables, which I am allergic to (at least that’s the story I tell when asked), and I want to see him stay that way.
So, there he was this morning, kicking and screaming, throwing a tantrum the likes of which I’ve only seen other kids throw. You know, those little jerks. The chocolate had brought out a side of my son that, and I feel a bit guilty here, that I don’t really like.
I tried to calm him down and explain that M’s are for snack, after dinner. Certainly not first thing in the morning. I promised he could have some later, but only if he stops crying. Everything I was saying seemed weak and all wrong. My wife then tried to calm him down and offered him cereal.
He ate the cereal begrudgingly, eating and crying at the same time.
It was truly a pathetic scene. I was frustrated and annoyed and…
And was craving some chocolate.
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14 Responses to “What an Excellent Day for an Exorcism”
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I tried so hard to keep candy and other junk out of my son’s diet…and was thwarted by friends and family who had the attitude “Oh, a little bit won’t hurt him!!” as they handed him candy, cookies, chips, or ice cream cones…often without asking me if it was OK until AFTER they handed the treat over, when I would have had to pry it from his vise-like grip and deal with the meltdown.
Sigh.
So, instead, I stopped resisting and simply began explaining how the food he was eating affects his body, his mood, and his behavior. Relentlessly. I cheer him when he chooses an apple or cheese and crackers over a taffy or chocolate or chips. He knows that treats are OK sometimes, but not all the time, and when he starts to forget, I remind him and tell him that before he has that cookie he has to eat something healthy for his body.
And I STILL want to smack my (now ex) mother-in-law because the first thing she asks him when he comes to her house is “Do you wand an ice cream??” as she unwraps a BlueBell mini-cone, covered in chocolate and chock full of sugar and fat…grr…
Speaking of which…hmm…we baked cookies the other night….drool…
Shade and Sweetwater,
K
Kyddryn´s last blog ..Thoughtfetti
Dude, toss the guilt in the garbage. If you like every single side of your kids then chances are really good that you aren’t paying attention. Hit me later and I’ll share a couple of our Linda Blair moments with you. : > )
P.S. That picture is awesome!
Writer Dad´s last blog ..His smile says he’s ready. His green eyes do agree.
M&M’s = Kiddie Crack
Chris@Maugeritaville´s last blog ..The Spirit Was Willing, But the Fists Were Weak
My mom did that to my son with a frosty a while back. She let him taste hers and that was it. If there is anything remotely resembling ice cream he wants it over anything else I want him to eat.
PJ Mullen´s last blog ..Being a Trust Agent in the business of fatherhood
Fine. Now I totally need some M&M’s. NOWWWW! Whatevs. It’s your fault.
Uh, and dude. M&M’s sprinkled on cereal makes an AWESOME breakfast. Better yet, why not give him a whole bowl and see what happens? He’ll be BEGGING you for oatmeal. Swearsies.
New Age Bitch´s last blog ..Ode to Wal-Mart, especially the old dude who slapped a crying kid
You’re all right, David. You must from now on frisk house visitors – subject them even to cavity search if need be. Evil must not lay its grubby fingers on the Wright household ever again. And you should always not let your guard down especially when your evil sister-in-law is around. Never thought fatherhood can be such fun!
jan geronimo´s last blog ..Best SEO Practices for Creative Writers
Well the tag line is” melts in your mouth not in your hands”. You gotta love the little colorful circles. There are so many learning activities that can be facilitated with a bag of these lovelies. Sorting, classifying, adding, subtracting, making patterns, but at 7:30 a.m. drawing the line in the sand and saying no was prudent. I can be real black and white on sugar management, but I have found the gray zone. We call it the Magic Mix.
Handfuls of raw peanuts, raisins, cranberries, raw almonds, (whatever other dried fruit fancies you) and yes a handful of the “M’s”. It is a lovely middle ground of a taste of chocolate with the nature’s dried fruit and nuts. The children love it and the splashes of color of the “M’s” gives snack time or movie treats that little extra something that we all want at the end of the day. Good on you for not caving into the tantrum. There are more white knuckle moments abound. Be ready for the scoop and walk quickly to the car when the tantrum happens in public. Yes, even if it means leaving the shopping cart of groceries from your brilliant shopping list map.
cindy´s last blog ..21st Century Learners Choose the Write Media
We give candy on occassion, but it seems like the grandparents are the exception to the rule. If left alone with my father long enough, the kids will end up with the same Dr Pepper addiction that I have.
Eric´s last blog ..Toddlers In Da Hood!!
I agree with Writer Dad. I wouldn’t feel guilty at all about not liking that dark side. There are plenty of times I’ve thought the same thing, and then I realize that I do love my kids, but sometimes I just don’t like them. I don’t see anything wrong with that, as long as my actions always show love.
Scott (simplefather)´s last blog ..Preschool – A Change Of Opinion
All these evil, nutrition-less foods are intended to be addictive. It’s particularly true for things like Doritos, in which you can find the ever-popular appetite stimulant monosodium glutamate. Dextrose and maltodextrin, essentially man-made sugar derived from corn, are also a problem. In some people, these substances can act like an opiate.
Some are more immune to this effect than others. Obviously your son lacks this immunity, as I do, too. It’s not your fault that this stuff exists in our world.
Good luck!
Square Peg Guy´s last blog ..If You Can’t Beat ‘Em, Join ‘Em
Candy has not been introduced at our house yet. Ice cream and cookies, but not candy. However, our 2 year old still finds plenty of things to melt down about.
SeattleDad´s last blog ..Toddler Nirvana
I have enough M&M stories to back you up all the way.Funny, I don’t eat them but they have had a major place in my life. My question to you is, although it is not chocolate or M&Ms of any kind …that cupcake at the top of the page with the blue icing looks like it coud have induced one of those “sugar” tantrums. Good luck
Oh Dave, I feel for ya. You are so not alone in the pull for the “M’s” nor to the dislike of some of our kids traits. It’s why they are made so darn cute, so we will continue to love them any ways, despite the demon within. BTW, my 12 yo often vies (never wins) for candy before breakkie, but now it’s mostly to get my goat…