Comments on: Whine Time

By: privilege of parenting

privilege of parenting — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 04:09:11 +0000

I second the comments that are about getting down to our kid’s level and sort of mirroring and echoing what they are expressing, in whatever primitive manner they eh eh eh it. One other thing to throw in the mix is the idea that kids (from newborns through about 27) give us not only their poop, vomit and later on attitude—they also give us their unwanted feelings. If we take a second to check in with how we feel (i.e. frustrated, unappreciated, helpless, angry, sad and exhausted) we will often get an excellent picture of what our child is not just trying to say, but trying to emotionally spill over into us because they simply can’t hold it.

Hang in, Bruce
.-= privilege of parenting´s last blog ..The ghost of parenting past =-.

By: Brittany at Mommy Words

Brittany at Mommy Words — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 16:19:39 +0000

Well I know I do not comment all the time but you are one of my favorite bloggers and I got all these awards and I have to pass them on. I wanted people to know how cool you are and how you helped me with my Thesis woes and so I have passed an award on to you. I wrote it last week and I am just now getting to telling you about it, but since you were sick I guess you wouldn ot have had time to check it out until now anyway. I am so glad you are feeling better! .-= Brittany at Mommy Words´s last blog ..DIY Play Kitchen – Who Needs Pottery Barn? =-.

By: Sandy

Sandy — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 02:25:33 +0000

I have to admit, when my daughter was 2 she would throw the tantrums of all tantrums, for about 20 mins. no kidding, I’ve timed it! I would sit and journal, but not give in, then later I would start with the time out until she stopped, I would tell her, in a calm voice, “You need to stay here, (I would put her on her or my bed) when you stop crying, you can come out to see me” She would cry for 5/10 more minutes, then calm down and walk to the door and call me. It took alittle bit, but it did stop when she knew I wasn’t giving in. It drove my parents nuts, they’d say, Just give her what she wants, I’d say “Sorry..but no” At 5 she’s still stubburn as hell, (don’t know where she got that from! Lol) but I try to compromise sometimes. Good luck

By: Angie

Angie — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 19:32:02 +0000

Very funny video!!

The whining phase is definitely one of the worst phases… ignoring works sometimes but not always. You need a few different techniques and try em all until you exhaust all avenues.. then just give in!

By: David

David — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 05:22:02 +0000

Honestly, I never thought I’d be the kind of parent who uttered the phrase “use your words” but that seems to be the best way to stop whining. My 2 year old does it when he’s frustrated and doesn’t feel like communicating clearly, so it sort of reminds him.

Of course, he’s half-Jewish so whining will always be a part of his molecular makeup. Can’t be helped.
.-= David´s last blog ..Gitmo Musical Torture =-.

By: Trina

Trina — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 02:40:16 +0000

There is definitely credence to the inability to express himself appropriately based on the emotional/frustrated/tired state he may be at – learn to seperate that from him just learning how to play you. Make sense?

Otherwise, I am a fan of ignore, distract, and ‘use your talking voice’ phrases. I made it a personal mission to NEVER cave to whining, one got it quickly, one still tests me at 12 – though the whining has turned into a sort of pestering of sorts – that’s when ‘NO is a complete sentence’ type phrasing become part of my battle plan hahaha.

I will say, ‘I want’ syndrome is complicated, and I felt that teaching mine to reasonably ask for what they wanted instead of begging/cajoling/pleading (cuz thats what ‘I want’ turns into) would better serve them to get their desired outcome. That’s served us well, even though I have had to remind them. Oh yeah, that would be another thing, do expect to keep reminding of desired behaviour… while that may contradict what I said in the previous paragraph – we all have our own tolerance levels, and have to allow/adjust as our childs traits develop.

So glad you are all well and safe after piggy flu invaded your family.

By: Kyddryn

Kyddryn — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 01:42:42 +0000

That video was priceless…ohmuhgoodness, that was funny…

For whining, I don’t know what to say…I DO think it’s a phase, and I believe that giving in to the behavior only tells them how to get what they want most effectively. But making it stop? I don’t know that I made it stop…I may have simply outlasted it.

Or I may be emotionally scarred form that phase and have blocked it from memory.

Shade and Sweetwater,
K (who wishes you luck with this…)
.-= Kyddryn´s last blog ..Perfect Love, Perfect Trust =-.

By: Patricia

Patricia — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 23:03:37 +0000

I used Betsy’s technique with a great deal of success and a variation of – when you can say what you want in a “normal” voice, I will respond…
I find it very hard to ignore….only one child threw up….I had her clean it up and the stain is still on the floor 23 years later, because it took over 2 hours for her to calm down enough to take action. It was a great lesson to the other two…

I also set limits because being consistent was extremely hard with my third child and all her problem….I put masking tape down at the entrances to the kitchen and declared it a no whine zone. I would pick her up and set her outside the tape without saying a word – got a few kicks and head butts….oh well, that was corrected at another time.

Learning NO is vital….I am still working on it for myself – my husband just leaves to avoid conflict/even when the kids were small…no lie…that took some counseling sessions to work out…
.-= Patricia´s last blog ..Korny Zucchini Pizza =-.

By: Danielle

Danielle — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 21:53:04 +0000

Re-Direct! Hey, look at the plane. Oh, look at the big bug! Or, earplugs! .-= Danielle´s last blog ..The great the bad and the REALLY ugly!!! =-.

By: Snowbody

Snowbody — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 21:25:39 +0000

The best method varies from kid to kid.

I like the distraction method because it can defuse a lit bomb before it goes off.

Physical removal from the proximity of the item he wants, followed by YOU playing with something that interests him. You have to do this early before he really gets into it, before he tunes out the rest of the world.

Another method is talking to him that you understand that he wants something and you know he’s upset he can’t have it. Don’t try to reason; your sayso should be enough.